I think it will help just to post here, although my story covers several groups. I was very lucky in love, I had the most terrific wife and three great children. I also have an addiction to porn, which led me down some very bad paths, downloading everything, including underage - yes I know! Police came and I just spent ten months in jail, my wife is divorcing me, as she can't trust me and is so disgusted by me, children are really struggling, I haven't seen them for over a year, or had any contact. I've lost my work,moved away from the family area to mums, as dad died earlier in the year. Neighbours are trying to get me evicted, so there's lots going on, but it is my wife and children I miss the most and would do anything to try and put things right. I have half memories of abuse earlier in my life, which would never excuse what I did, but a counsellor said might explain it, at least in part. 

frankly I feel so broken, close to tears much of the time. An analogy helps. in prison I was standing in the sea, each time I thought I was doing ok another wave hit me, now I'm out of the sea but staring up at a cliff not knowing how to climb it or what on earth I'll find at the top.