I feel your pain. There is nothing worse than just being left. It might work for the other person to just go off and take a break and make themselves feel better, but it hurts so much for you. It isn't fair at all. And begging to get the guy back - everyone says not to do it, but it is so hard not to! In all situations. Has he tried to get help for the alcohol before? Maybe this would help, but unless the person wants to change and wants to get better, it is hard for things to work. I hope things work out for you and you have enough support to get through this. It is hard to know what will happen next - for anyone.

I swear on a different circumstance I would say just leave him, "you are better than this" but honestly it's hard, it just sucks so much ass that the good people get it the worst...I know exactly how you feel and it doesn't get better when u leave him but its the right choice....I'm not even in the position to tell you that I should leave him and open up to other cos I'm in the same situation as you are but trust me there's someone always out there for you...we are all her for you....much love xoxo

I was with an alcoholic for about 30 years. Yeah, there were some good times, and we did have some nice things. However, you cannot save someone like this. Get out early.

Good luck

Dear Nightowl79,

You are presently at a crossroad of your life where the hard decisions are made. I agree with the other readers when stating the obvious, “it will only get worse.” You should seek the advice from a counselor in how to proceed with an alcoholic. It’s hard to help another if that person has chosen not to help themselves. I know it will be difficult to make those important and hard decisions to move on, but you can do it. You are in the valley of your life, but always remember, it is the valley where strength resides.

Best,
W

Awww I wanna thank you all for replying to my post. This is the 1st time I've joined a group to talk about what's going on in my life. I was not sure if I should join but I'm so glad I did. You all have helped me a lot. Deep down in my heart I know what needs to be done but I guess the pain makes it hard to just move on. Time is the only healing process that will get me thru this and all ur positive vibes and great advice. I'm still hurting and sad but it's just a process that I know I will overcome. I read ur comments earlier at work and it got me thinking bout things. Yesterday I was really down and today was a whole new day and all ur comments helped me be strong today. In fact instead of me being sad and thinking of all the happy times, it made me think of all the bad times he has disrespected and treated me bad. Therefore I was on a whole other level and just saying to myself gosh how could I have went thru so much. It made me mad at myself and hate what he has done to me and myself esteem. I need to just remembering that so I won't get weak and beg him back. Thank you all again for your wonderful and awesome advice.

Remember that there is a lot of help out there went you seek for help. Some good tips: work on your security issues, self esteem, and confidence. Try to go out with good friends, do things you always wanted to do like learning a new language, work on yourself, go visit a family member, volunteer if you have time, exercise, take care of your health, read or listen to motivational books, make a list of the things you really like and try to do one thing every day, listen to your favorite music, watch funny movies, and remember that you are valuable and lovable be you deserve more. Good luck!

Thank you helianthis, I appreciate all your great and motivational advice. I am now working out at the local gym and feeling so much better. Something I could not do when I was with him cuz he was so jealous. I could never be with my friends either. I just now am realizing he kept me as a prisoner and now I can do whatever I want and am starting to feel better. Its still hard at times but if I keep busy I can hopefully get through this. I have lots of faith in God and I know he's by my side to help me get through this. Thanks again everyone you all are wonderful. Have a great day!! :)

Been there!! Dated a guy just like that. Recognize that he is sick and get out!! You will go through the motions of hurt and sadness, let yourself!! You will be more confident and happier in the long run...

I am glad you are taking care of you! I read a book that helped me tremendosly called "Co Dependent No More" I would highly recommend it. Kerp taking care of yourself and keep talking. You can do it!

Al-Anon is a great program is well. Look to see if there are any meetings in your area. They will not tell you what to do in regard to your relationship, but they do help you cope with loved ones who are alcoholics. I agree the codependency no more book is a real eye opener.

Life can be scary. But you are stronger than you think. You are feeling so emotional because you are thinking negatively. You have to refocus your thoughts to help move your emotions in a more positive way. My suggestion to you would be to do what so many have suggested and that is to begin to grow by learning everything you can about co-dependency so that you can break this cycle in your life. This will be a time of tremendous growth and healing for you if you'll let it. New can be very, very good. Have faith.

PLEASE listen. He is an abuser and the alcohol only makes him worse. It starts with verbal and emotional and almost always ends with physical. He manipulates you with it also and takes you for granted. You are basically there to fulfill his needs until someone better comes along.

My advice for you is to get away from him quickly. Do not waste your 1 life on this man that will NEVER give you true happiness. Get your self some help also and figure out what attracts you to a guy like this?

Big Hugs and best of luck!

What, you can't find the door ??

Betty, you've been pretty mean on a few of these post, lol! Why are you here?

Betty has few words but speaks a multitude....direct. One can not change or fix an alcoholic. Alanon will teach you about codependency and emotional boundaries...