Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members

100,360 Posts

0 Online

JaniceHayes 04/25/2013

Ok, so, my ex called me at work the other day re: a lawnmower that I have at his house. He said it did not work and I told him, he could trash, sell it or whatever. Since this was our first actual conversation since March 7th, we exchanged idle chit chat. I said speaking of things at your house, that I had my beach chair there and other floor mats. Come to find out, it was his beach chair, which he was right. I thought it was mine. I used it for 6 years, what do I know. To make a long story short, I get a text from him yesterday telling me, he found a chair for me, brand new just for me... I replied oh wow, luck me, thanks... OK what gives?

AurorasHope 04/25/2013

Try not to over think it. Just accept it, say thank you, smile and there you go. Enjoy your new chair!

Blindsidedagain 04/25/2013

If you feel that maintaining contact with your ex is a healthy and positive thing for both of you, all is cool.

deleted_user 04/25/2013

when my exhusband and I separated for good
he bought me my bed
it was a gesture of love and care
we no longer loved each other as spouses
but there was still love of some kind

kindness

JaniceHayes 04/26/2013

thanks all, I am in a good place and feeling good about myself. I lost 15 pounds and counting, starting a part time job tomorrow to help pay down some debt and making sure I stay busy and positive. I am not angry with him anymore, the break up was an eye opener and wake up call for me.

deleted_user 04/26/2013

If you can have contact with him without it making you feel bad, or thinking that you're going to get back together with him, then that's good. Be careful - the old feelings can come flooding back when you least expect it. If you can't be "friends" then I would cut off contact and not accept the chair. People usually don't buy things for others, especially their exes, without there being some strings attached.

JaniceHayes 04/26/2013

thanks cheryt, not sure what his motive is or is not. I am keeping myself busy and am excited about my part tme job. It is working Fri 5:30-9:30 Saturday 5:30-9:30 and Sunday 2:30-6:30, that way I am not worried about what I will be doing on the weekend or about being alone, and the $100 a week will be a big help. My goal is to pay off 2nd mortgage by the end of the year. Anyone who comes into my life will be on my terms for now.

deleted_user 04/26/2013

Janice, you go girl. :)

JaniceHayes 04/26/2013

Verne, I am trying... I decided to focus on me.... and to remember me... for now...

deleted_user 04/26/2013

my ex bought me a pink tutu. i'm still trying to figure that one out ...

i'm thinking of exchanging it for a pair of tights. just sayin.'

deleted_user 04/26/2013

How does it look on you? Maybe you should get the tights to go WITH the tutu.

JaniceHayes 04/26/2013

funny.....

deleted_user 04/26/2013

I agree with Cheryt. Just have your guard up involving contact between him and you and him buying you something. You don't want to find out there are strings attached.

I'm sorry you don't have all your stuff back. This would be funny, except that it is real. I hope you get all your things back finally.

charliegirl29 04/26/2013

@ verne ...a pink tutu...maybe she is expecting a performance of the nutcracker....i couldnt really tell if you were joking or if that really happened.....@ janice......i think its most likely just a nice gesture...maybe he felt guilty ....who knows.....but I know one thing....if I were you I would relax in it :-)

deleted_user 04/26/2013

@charliegirl: no, i just made that up about the tutu. actually, we both conducted ourselves very well during the breakup process.

JaniceHayes 04/26/2013

OK, all went well, he liked what he saw, as far as me. He could not stop staring me up and down. He bought his son with him.. Of course his son got out the car and hugged me and I asked how school was and etc. He sent me a text that said, Oh you look good. I just said thanks. I feel good and will continue to work on me....

Join the Conversation