Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Today I'm moving out of the house I built with my husband for good.
I'm really not looking forward to this afternoon when the movers show up and we load all my furniture into their truck. I've been living somewhere else for a week now, so it shouldn't be so hard, but it makes things so final. The other night my husband told me that he wanted a divorce, and that he is happier now that I'm gone (he emotionally cheated on me for months and I only found out by going through his phone -he was never going to be honest with me), and that he already thinks of me as his ex-wife. Ouch.
All very difficult things to hear, and it was upsetting because I still love him and wanted to fix our relationship, but it was the closure I needed to be able to book movers and get on with my life without wondering what he was thinking about or who he was with. I have accepted that it's over between us. I'm happier now that I'm in a place of acceptance, but it's not going to make things easier today when I have to go over to our old house and leave for good. Although my husband was cheating, he's angry with me. Why? He used to be my best friend and biggest supporter, and now it seems like he hates me. It's really hard to deal with his personality right now, I have no idea what's come over him. He wants a divorce as soon as possible, and he's so cold toward me.
The time for trying to fix things and for being emotional is over. Today, I just want to be able to look him in the face with confidence and move out. I don't want to be mean or get into an argument, I just want things to go as smoothly as possible and then I don't want to see him for a very long time. I can't watch him self-destruct like this; he's better than that, but he wants to convince himself he's a terrible person. I want all this to be over so that I can be in my own space, surrounded by the things and the people that make me happy.
This sounds ridiculous because I haven't lived at home for a week now, but I feel like this makes things official. I'll never wake up in my house again, or in my old neighbourhood, or go to the park by our house or go for walks in the area. I'm excited for change, for a new chapter...but I'm sad that things had to end like this. We built that house together, we painted the walls, put together the ikea furniture and had a lot of really happy memories.
Any advice right now would be helpful.
C
I'm really not looking forward to this afternoon when the movers show up and we load all my furniture into their truck. I've been living somewhere else for a week now, so it shouldn't be so hard, but it makes things so final. The other night my husband told me that he wanted a divorce, and that he is happier now that I'm gone (he emotionally cheated on me for months and I only found out by going through his phone -he was never going to be honest with me), and that he already thinks of me as his ex-wife. Ouch.
All very difficult things to hear, and it was upsetting because I still love him and wanted to fix our relationship, but it was the closure I needed to be able to book movers and get on with my life without wondering what he was thinking about or who he was with. I have accepted that it's over between us. I'm happier now that I'm in a place of acceptance, but it's not going to make things easier today when I have to go over to our old house and leave for good. Although my husband was cheating, he's angry with me. Why? He used to be my best friend and biggest supporter, and now it seems like he hates me. It's really hard to deal with his personality right now, I have no idea what's come over him. He wants a divorce as soon as possible, and he's so cold toward me.
The time for trying to fix things and for being emotional is over. Today, I just want to be able to look him in the face with confidence and move out. I don't want to be mean or get into an argument, I just want things to go as smoothly as possible and then I don't want to see him for a very long time. I can't watch him self-destruct like this; he's better than that, but he wants to convince himself he's a terrible person. I want all this to be over so that I can be in my own space, surrounded by the things and the people that make me happy.
This sounds ridiculous because I haven't lived at home for a week now, but I feel like this makes things official. I'll never wake up in my house again, or in my old neighbourhood, or go to the park by our house or go for walks in the area. I'm excited for change, for a new chapter...but I'm sad that things had to end like this. We built that house together, we painted the walls, put together the ikea furniture and had a lot of really happy memories.
Any advice right now would be helpful.
C
I hope I can send you some strength through the computer. I stayed in our home until it was sold. I remember when I had everything out, that I sat down in the kitchen and cried because I really liked the place. Then I left it forever. I didn't realize I would move on in life and end up with my own little place that I love now.
You will heal and you will be happy again. I wish you all the best. Keep your chin up :)
He wants to start the divorce process asap -he told me he wants to get this over with as fast as possible. It's hard not to feel a little hurt that he wants to rush out of this marriage with me. It's like the thought of being married to me disgusts him. I hope over time, he will realize what he said and did to me, and that he hurt the person that he loves. He's already rubbing it in my face that he has a roommate, and that he's excited to have parties and buy a lizard and get his motorcycle license -he's only 25, but it sounds like he's having a mid-life crisis to me. His goal seems to be to purposely throw this stuff in my face because these are a lot of things that I had issues with him doing when we were married.
He tried to tell me that I've always been way more emotionally invested in this relationship than he has. That really hurt that he would try to re-write our past like that. I know that I meant a great deal to him, and that he loved me. I could tell because I felt happy, and loved, and that I had his full attention. I think right now, he would say anything to kill my hope, to hurt me, and to make me think that he's a terrible person because that would be easier for him. Then he would never have to face his feelings. I'm trying to remind myself every day that his day will come when he has to face what he's done. He threw away a great marriage for what? And now he's trying to make it seem like our 8 years together were meaningless.
I think the sooner I get my things and move away, the better. I can't be around that right now.
C
C