I am right with you two.
I'll think I'm happy and then out of nowhere, bam!, I want to go back hibernating and crying.
But those moments are definitely getting less frequent and less intense.
The wounds won't completely heal, there'll always be a scar, and even scars can act up sometimes, even if it's just an itch.

Yes, it's a part of the process - the roller coaster.

And I dislike roller coasters already heh
The hibernation thing is bang on. Just want to sleep till I wake up with a better thought process or something.

I remember having moments where I thought that it'd be nice to go into a short medically induced coma. Just not worry about anything for awhile, while I'm being taken care of.
Now looking back, and typing it out, I realize how awful that sounds, I was in so much pain. But I am making it through, even the darkest times don't last.

I agree with the sleep thing, to heal in our sleep and wake up feeling OK again would be amazing.
My first bf and I lived together for 10 years, he got into steroids and became violent. There was never a goodbye for us, I ended up in the hospital and ran from there with nothing. It took so long to heal but then I still had my mom for support. One day I realized it no longer hurt to think of him, and that in fact I had not thought about him for quite some time. All these years later I can look back at the good times and sometimes I feel the "if only things had been different". But I no longer have bad feelings for him. He destroyed himself and it's just sad how he wasted his life.

I hope I can fast forward this time and lose these feelings quicker, because this time feels so much worse.

Whats good is that there are now or are going to be more good days then bad. That as time goes by, you will find that these days become less and less. That a long time from now, away from the breakup, that you find there will be days like this in general, as life isn't always a bowl of strawberries. Life in general keeps us on our toes and has up at the top of a mountain one day, then wading in the ocean the next. What matters is that you take any day and what comes as a blessing that it came and then went, whether good or bad, cus its an experience that only happens right then. You'll never get that back.

Oh yeah, absolutely. I'm a few days away from 8 months since he dropped the bomb on me and in another month or so the divorce will be through the court process. I think as the divorce has been getting closer I've been getting a bit rawer again and my emotions are going on their little magic carpet ride more often again. I'm hoping once the divorce is actually done they'll level out more again. I've also been having problems sleeping again the last few weeks, much like those first few weeks. I'll get an hour or two of sleep a night for 4 or 5 days in a row and yet I'm just not tired. Ugh.

Oh well, at least I've been getting a lot of knitting and crocheting done. I finally tried my hand at knitting socks (the heels had always intimidated me but really, they weren't so awful after all :) ) and I've been doing some amigurumi (Totoro, Adipose from Dr Who).