Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Why do people keep playing games when you're trying to get business taken care of so once the divorce finalizes you can both go your separate ways?
I went over to her house tonight for the weekly visit with my grandaughter and as I was leaving, I asked her if she had gotten her vehicle insurance and some other items taken care of as she told me she would.
She just gave me a little sh-t-eating smile and said that she had been busy. What that smile and the way she spoke that told me that she's been spending her free time with her new sugar daddy and the necessary business has been put in the back for now. I'm sure that she's using all her physical charms and talents on this guy and he's buying whatever she wants but she needs to get this stuff taken care of as it's stuff I can't do.
I didn't want to cause a scene with the baby right there but she really pissed me off and deeply saddened me at the same time because she has so easily cast me away and is now shagging this clown for all she's worth. She could have at least had the dignity to hold off until the divorce was at least filed but nope, she started doing him about a week after our reconciliation attempt ended just before thanksgiving.
Why do people love tearing apart the people they once took their vows with? I was always good to her, did what I could for her and this is how she wants to treat me after she's already broken my heart twice? I just don't get it. The mind games and cruelty make no sense..
I went over to her house tonight for the weekly visit with my grandaughter and as I was leaving, I asked her if she had gotten her vehicle insurance and some other items taken care of as she told me she would.
She just gave me a little sh-t-eating smile and said that she had been busy. What that smile and the way she spoke that told me that she's been spending her free time with her new sugar daddy and the necessary business has been put in the back for now. I'm sure that she's using all her physical charms and talents on this guy and he's buying whatever she wants but she needs to get this stuff taken care of as it's stuff I can't do.
I didn't want to cause a scene with the baby right there but she really pissed me off and deeply saddened me at the same time because she has so easily cast me away and is now shagging this clown for all she's worth. She could have at least had the dignity to hold off until the divorce was at least filed but nope, she started doing him about a week after our reconciliation attempt ended just before thanksgiving.
Why do people love tearing apart the people they once took their vows with? I was always good to her, did what I could for her and this is how she wants to treat me after she's already broken my heart twice? I just don't get it. The mind games and cruelty make no sense..
I had thought I was moving away from the roller coaster but be damned if it doesn't find a way to get back in and mess up your sense of well being. It seems every day is some new sort of test of your will, your senses, your heart, your very existence. Doesn't seem fair.
Her insurance and other business are not your concern anymore. If she fails to take care of it or have someone else pay it then the consequences are on her. Not you.
Neither is it your concern who she is sleeping with, or on what terms that is happening. What on earth were you planning on making a scene about exactly? I'm glad you didn't even though its because of the baby.
I understand how much its hurting you but you need a reality check and LET HER GO and FACE HER OWN CONSEQUENCES. Its admirable you still care but you need to let her go.
Is there some other way you can visit the grandbaby without having to see her? Something makes me suspect you WANT to see her and you know NO CONTACT is the best way to heal. Painful as it is.
Wishing you the best on the healing journey and sorry that what I said wasn't what you wanted to hear.
I know how you feel John. These freaking cheaters can't even wait for the sheets to go cold before they're hopping in bed with someone else. It's sickening and disgusting how little regard they have for others, especially for the ones they loved enough to marry. No sense of propriety or etiquette whatsoever.
I don't know how you managed to refrain from slapping that snarky grin off of her cheating face. I would have been infuriated.
If it's her car, in her name, then it's her insurance, right? Unless I missed something?
Drop her from the insurance - shell get it taken care of on her own real fast. Problem solved.
Why dont you go visit your grand daughter at your son/daughters house? I have to agree that there has got to be another solution, a neutral enivornment - but you are not wanting to fully let go. Which explains why youre paying for your wifes stuff.
Let mr. sugar daddy take care of her, hell realize shes not such a prize once the bills start flowing in.
I understand that "letting go" and knowing it isn't final until August sucks because you're still legally married.
But, like Shine said, people learn real quick when they stuck their head in the sand about bills and then, all of a sudden, have to pay for them.
See the grandkids at another location. Divorce changes the dynamics of several relationships, not just the two actually divorcing.
In time, you will find ways to create a new "normal."
To ask ourselves why people do this that or the other is a waste of life and energy that we can be investing on bouncing back. It's obvious that she didn't want to wait to give up her goodies to the next dude - but who cares? Really? - John, you are hurting, it's obvious, why keep going back to her place? - go see the child at her parent's house - and frankly JOHN - if you need to put on hold seeing the child for a moment while you get yourself together - do exactly that - you aren't going to be any good for anyone nor yourself if you don't find peace.
SHE'S Not causing drama - you are causing her own missery while she's living the life and her 2nd honey moon w/some dude - tell her to F#@% the hell off - it makes me so mad when good ppl suffer at the expense of folks that don't give a hoot - you are a good person John - don't let other ppl steal your joy - STOP paying her insurance and stop concerning yourself w/this ladie's life.
So sorry for your agony. I know it hurts but don't bring on more hardship to yourself.
In regards to the baby, that's the only place where I can see her at this time as her mom (my step-daughter) works six days a week and the little one has a few different sitters during those days, none of whom I'm on comfortable terms with. On the one day the step has off, they are normally spending mom-baby time so I can't infringe on that. For the time being, I'm screwed..
He didn't do any of it. I finally cancelled the insurance on his car and then went to the Motor Vehicles and told them what happened and signed an Affidavit and they voided the license plates he had that were mine. He was notified by both the insurance carrier and the state motor vehicles, but he never said a word to me because he knew he was in the wrong.
Sometimes you have to step in and deal with the responsibilities yourself but in a different way and let the consequences fall on the other spouse. You are both adults, and if she wants to be a child, she can drive around without insurance
In my case, with my ex not retitling the car and still having my insurance, if he got into an accident, I would have been drawn into any lawsuit because I would have still been considered the legal owner of the car and the person with the insurance. No way was I risking that.