So sorry mediation did not work out well. I didn't realize custody was in question. My husband basically said I can have physical custody but will take the kids to school every morning like he does now. Can you guys work out some schedule like that so she can get a break from taking care of the kids full time too?

It's good to feel what you're feeling. Your kids will appreciate that you want them around all the time. Wish my husband had a heart!!

My heart is what's causing me to be so devastated. She won't get full time, but she'll get more than me, which is baffling to me. Completely baffling. She has cheated on me.before. She has been abusive before. She's leaving me. And I get the brunt of everything. Life is unbelievably unfair. I honestly hate her. I didn't think it was possible to be more depressed, yet here I am.

Please, you've been doing so well. And I know thinking you couldn't be more depressed and you are. I try to be emotional less - but my heart won't let me stay there. He's gone on with his life and I'm still here praying he will get his act together and come back. I wish I could not think with my heart.

I'm not doing well. I'm not doing well at all. I'm doing horribly. I can't cope with anything. I hate her for what she's doing to our family. I hate that I won't be able to spend as much time with my kids. I hate everything. Maybe they'll all be better off without me. F my life.

You've got to fill yourself back up, Montgomery Dad, you're empty. Try some positive words, encourage yourself. I try to listen to comedy so I can hear something funny. I play words with friends, just something to distract you from the crazy. Stay strong.

Come on MD! Cheer up! Trust me I know

No, they will not be better off without you. They need you and you need them. Take the hate you have for her to make you show her you can get through this.

I'm at the point where I'm starting to wonder what good I am to anyone. Just get the feeling everyone would be a lot better off without me in their life. At least that's how my wife makes me feel.

There's nothing good about it. There is no immediate relief. You are alive, therefore you suffer. Evil exits, and it has infiltrated your family. Love is happiness and the love for your children is being interfered with. This evening, my kids and I went through another episode of my wifes anger and rage. All because she has no self control and emotional stability. And there's nothing we can do to fix that. Thus we suffer. People suffer at the hands of others, unfortunately it's often by family members. There is very little that can be done other than to work on creating a shield around your mind and soul in order to deflect the evilness that is attacking you. Look to God for support. Unfortunately he often is silent in great times of need. But silent while we are on Earth, not in Heaven.

I feel the same way MD. Wife cheated on me. Files for divorce in July. In the meantime I'm left with taking care of the 2 boys while she is out partying with this new guy. Staying at his place coming and going whenever she wants. In September we went to court for temporary custody order and it was decided joint custody. She would get her own place in town and have the boys 2 days a week and every other weekend. November 1st she ends up getting a place with this guy in another town 25 mins away . She has yet to have an overnight visit with the boys. I had a stipulation that the boyfriend can not be introduced to the minor children until the divorce is finalized. She was supposed to take them for Thanksgiving but ended up bailing out of that. Stating them at it was my fault. She takes me back to court because she wants to introduce the BF to the children. Decision was made to have the. Boys therapist make a decision. Boys have there meeting with her and the counselor suggests that the boys be introduced to the boyfriend step by step gradually. Meanwhile I have to battle her for paying her part of the boys medical. And her BF has posted threats to me on FB and has a criminal record. Boys were upset tonight and I am really phased off that the counselor would make that type of decision. Meanwhile I have taken care of the boys the boys thru this. I just feel that it does not matter what I do that she is going to get whatever she wants. Very discouraging. As you felt you've done all the right things for the boys

My mediation left me feeling the same way. That bitch is evil and my kids are in the middle and need me now more than ever. Don't let the anger at your wife ruin your kids' lives. Hang in there, say your prayers and know your not alone. My situation is almost EXACTLY the same and I'm not going to let that evil bitch get the best of me or my relationship with my kids. God Bless you.

Thanks everyone. It's just horribly depressing that 3 months ago, everything seemed so good, and now my life has completely fallen apart. I don't even want to try any more. Nothing I do will ever make this right. And she gets whatever the hell she wants. I am sick to my stomach about all of this. I am shaking and sobbing and I will never see the reasoning in any of this.

I know it's hard but you've got to hang in there. You sound like a great guy with a. If heart. Your kids need you to be strong for them more than ever. Their lives as they know it is all going to change. That's all I have been thinking about lately. Once my husband moves out I want him to be involved and the kids know that even if he is not living with us he will always be there for them. They've never not been with their dad unless he went out of town for work so this will be a huge adjustment.

Also you deserve to be happy too! You sounded miserable with her so maybe the distance will help. Get your sanity back, rise above and have a better life than you did before. That would be the best form of revenge!!

I don't even want revenge. I just want to be with my kids as much as I ever have been. That's being taken away, and no amount of adjustment will ever make up for that. Koko, I truly appreciate your messages. They help a ton, even though it may not seem like it. I'm just in a dark place right now, and not sure I see a way out. Trying and not getting anywhere.

my divorce from a truly awful person was finalized in 2013. The road to that involved her lengthy cheating eoisode and coverup, my getting a cancer-causing infection from her screwing around, and our grown kids very hurt by the shocking truth if their mom's failure.

It has taken three years trying to normalize things..

I moved, changed jobs, and married someone new, Then found out I have throat cancer.

But you know what? My life is far better without that vile woman in my life.

My kids see me frequently and only see her if she flies them out to where she moved to to escape her now revealed shame.

Whatever happens in the divorce do your best to keep the connection to your kids strong.

You can do that despite any flightiness on their mom's part.