p.s. - I posted a video of Justin Timberlake this week...I am not gay because I did this...

rman.. its OK to be GAY

My therapist thinks we're attracted to people who represent someone we need to work crap out with. I.e., your parents are materialistic. This bothers you on a deeper level. You married a materialistic person to work out the crap that bothers you.

I think there's a little something to it but I don't think it fits the bill entirely. There's crap I have to work out but I'm not looking to be hitched to it for the rest of my life. That's kinda sado-masochistic if you ask me.

You can skate on the one JT video. But if there's any Justin Bieber that you post, I will seriously be worried. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1Fqn9du7xo

redeeming myself...

Perhaps you married what you thought you wanted and what you thought a good marriage would be like.

And perhaps you wanted some of that materialistic crap too. (I say this because I know a couple people who want and yet want to claim that they don't want....that big house, nice pictures, and newish stuff (former BIL was like this). He'd bitch about his wife getting stuff, but then he'd make comments about other people.... I'm NOT saying that your like my former BIL, but there might be some element of that in you.....

Nope, patti...just give me a place to live, food, (clothing optional), and a few things like TV, internet and drums...then I'm good.

I've heard that too, Bella

My Ex and my mom are two very different people, but they sure know how to push my buttons in exactly the same way!

It was so weird when I realized this...

Adam Lambert looks..........never mind.....
I think hind sight is 20/20. I think I may have gotten married too young....to follow the path my siblings had led me on......I was trying to keep up with them. The path that I took is the path that I took. I have two beautiful children as a result. No regrets right?

I think we're drawn to what we know. I married someone that showed affection monetarily just like my parents. That's not what I need or want, but it's what I was familar with.

I married someone that I was able to talk intellectually with because I was taught growing up that my brain was all that mattered.

There was no fun, no passion in my marriage, but I didn't see it in my parents, so I thought that's what marriage was supposed to be. I shouldn't have gotten married so young :(

And I don't think you got married for the wrong reasons, if love was involved it's not wrong... but maybe you married someone that appealed to what you *knew*, rather than what you felt.

I dunno... it's my early morning wake up, so take it for what it's worth.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Oh, and I'm much happier now just being in my little apartment... I have what I need, my dog, a bed, tv, internet and coffee... oh and a very lovely loveseat :)

It felt good to shed so much "stuff". I can see cows from my balconey and they make me happy. I can finally live my life instead of the life someone else wants me to have.

Okay, going back to bed now. Good luck with this rbutt!

i've gotta say that my exes haven't been very materialistic. i really appreciated that in them.

perhaps you just got married cus you loved her. that simple.

I like that song and video as well..

You married that materialistic person because that is what you know.

I hear what you're saying. My parents weren't materialistic per se, but they did enjoy the nicer things. I never felt that material possessions define a person...did I enjoy nice things sure, but never thought thats what defined who I was. The stbx was is a VERY materialistic person who was all about the rat race of keeping up with the Jonses so to speak. If my friends got this or that she would want to have it. For me and my friends it was never about what we have and what you don't have, but for her it sure seemed that way. I sometimes wonder about how I married such a person was it society pressure? I was one of the last of my friends to get married....did I feel the pressure to belong? I don't know...maybe. Either way I have to agree with Chi and Kessy. We got married bc we were in love and bottom line we have our kids so no regrets, right?