Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Married but separate (lost right now)

J.serrato1
J.serrato1

First of all i want to point out im young and a male i know it's been mostly females. I been with my wife for 5yrs and married for a brief time 7 months. I know it doesn't seem like much of a marriage but she has been through me on rough patches of my life. With my mom having cancer to us having a long distance relationship when i lived out of state to being the only person by my side when it seemee like no one was there for me at all she supported every step i took. Until about 3 weeks ago everything was perfect the last couple of months have been rocky but we managed until she texted me one day and told me i never really loved u even though i tried my feelings couldn't make me love you. She claims to still love me unconditionally n can't seem to see her life without me but the love is the same as family. I been throwing myself at her for these last 3 weeks looking like a jackass n she basically said yet again i love you and don't want a divorce but my feelings for you aren't going to change and divorce looks like it's going to happen. I know i just have to persevere and push through but i just been depressed lost and angered because i have no answers to this abrupt up bringing i need some clarity but all she is worried about is trying to get over me by going out alot. I would still take her back even though it's the wrong thing to do...but please i need some help and advice 

lostsoul72
lostsoul72
Have you two tried therapy at all ? I would suggest it for you , but also think it may help your relationship. I wish you luck and wish I had more advice at this time.
J.serrato1
J.serrato1
Hey lostsoul72 yes I've suggested therapy and counseling and even me moving back in the house to work things together as a whole she said something about she needs to work on herself but she has just been going out n transformed our home into a single person house basically. Also she always ignored and or blew off the idea of therapy every time it was brought up
arkgirl80
arkgirl80
I am sorry to hear this. I too am seperated and pregnant. My husband left me a month and a half ago and also only sees divorce as the only option. He also told me that he has not loved me in a while. I understand what you are going through. The only suggestion I can really say is to let her go, if that is what she wants then let her have her space. My husband has told me he has moved on, and eventhough I still struggle with that, it is very difficult. I am trying to move on myself. I know that is not really what you want to hear, but if you quit chasing her, she may realize what she is missing. I wish you the best.
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
I am very sorry you are dealing with this but, you can't make someone love you. I went through this with my first marriage. We were high school sweethearts and married young. We were married for 10 yrs. and she told me that she did not love me and that she did not even know what love was. I tried everything to make it work but, I finally left after 8-1/2 yrs. We divorced after 10 years, one month and 4 days. She died in 2014 of cancer.
Jay
Jay
I'm separated atm, and I must say your wife's responses are very similar to mine. The going out more, the "I need to work on me" in response to counseling. "I'm not in love" mine was due to an affair, sounds erily familiar.
ezzy345
ezzy345
Your wife is confused and sending you mixed signals. I wouldnt be surprised to find out there is someone else. She says she loves you unconditionally but then doesnt love you enough to work on your marrige? I dont get it. If she loves you she will want to be with you. If she doesnt...well she doesnt and truly there is nothing you can do about it. It truly sucks when someone decides this. Been there, done that. Let her do her thing and find a good therapist to work on getting over her. Good luck.
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