Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's what I've decided to do.
And you know what? It feels pretty good.
My son has been with his "Dad" for the past two weeks. He hasn't seen him in almost two years. I can't wait to make that long drive tomorrow to pick him up. My little man is my world. When I had to leave him, it felt as if my arm were severed from my very being.
I've kept myself incredibly busy (too busy) these past 13 days, in an effort to keep my mind off of him not being here. On the flip side, I was able to do things for myself, which I rarely am able to do. I appreciated my time. And I sent out love and compassion to both my son and my ex husband, in the hopes they were able to share their own time too.
This experience has shown me just how much I've let go. I wish him well on his journey. I don't feel sorry or scared or even apathy. I'm just letting what will be, will be. Harm none, but take no Sh*t. This, I'm learning.
Truthfully, I was a bit distraught to see my ex after all of this time. When I arrived, I could actually see and remember some of his redeeming qualities. Yes, the pain was tremendous in what I once endured. It's lifted. Transmutation. I didn't even cringe in the way I once did when (ex) wanted to hug me goodbye. I just let it be.
I'm choosing kindness and compassion, but continuing to stand in my truth. It's cathartic, and bittersweet. It feels better than the anger.
However, I may feel differently tomorrow, when I gather up my kids pieces...but for now....all is well.
I suppose what I'm trying to say, is this. It does get better. Feelings change. Hearts heal when you allow them to. Am I crazy about the fact that my family was shattered? No. Do I wish things were different? Yes. I have to believe in a higher purpose. I may never find the answer, but just for today, everything is alright.
Namaste.
And you know what? It feels pretty good.
My son has been with his "Dad" for the past two weeks. He hasn't seen him in almost two years. I can't wait to make that long drive tomorrow to pick him up. My little man is my world. When I had to leave him, it felt as if my arm were severed from my very being.
I've kept myself incredibly busy (too busy) these past 13 days, in an effort to keep my mind off of him not being here. On the flip side, I was able to do things for myself, which I rarely am able to do. I appreciated my time. And I sent out love and compassion to both my son and my ex husband, in the hopes they were able to share their own time too.
This experience has shown me just how much I've let go. I wish him well on his journey. I don't feel sorry or scared or even apathy. I'm just letting what will be, will be. Harm none, but take no Sh*t. This, I'm learning.
Truthfully, I was a bit distraught to see my ex after all of this time. When I arrived, I could actually see and remember some of his redeeming qualities. Yes, the pain was tremendous in what I once endured. It's lifted. Transmutation. I didn't even cringe in the way I once did when (ex) wanted to hug me goodbye. I just let it be.
I'm choosing kindness and compassion, but continuing to stand in my truth. It's cathartic, and bittersweet. It feels better than the anger.
However, I may feel differently tomorrow, when I gather up my kids pieces...but for now....all is well.
I suppose what I'm trying to say, is this. It does get better. Feelings change. Hearts heal when you allow them to. Am I crazy about the fact that my family was shattered? No. Do I wish things were different? Yes. I have to believe in a higher purpose. I may never find the answer, but just for today, everything is alright.
Namaste.
I remember a few of your other posts awhile ago, and I really never thought I'd hear anything remotely like this come from you.
You have grown so very much and have moved on and yes, I think I am feeling kindness and compassion in your post.
How VERY lucky your son is. You are putting him first. You and Trying. I applaud you both. You will never be sorry.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Oh...and a comfort of an FBI agent friend who lives in the area he's visiting. Back up plans are a beautiful thing.
Namaste - I have always enjoyed your posts, and have followed your story. While our X's are different in many ways, I understand and appluad this decision you're making. I know it's very hard to do. I know that sometimes there is no "right" answer...we just have to choose to let ourselves be ok. I've had that realization more than once when it comes to my X husband.
But, like you, I know it's not just about US as the grown ups, but about our sons. I really believe, for us in particular but any one else in this situation, that our sons have mothers who put them first, who know how to be mature when the last thing we feel like doing is being mature.
Your son has such a force in you, Namaste. You sound like, and seem like, such a strong, fiery, and vibrant woman, and exactly like the kind of person he is LUCKY to have in his corner.
To be honest, your X is lucky, too. I've said it many times about my X, that he lucked out with the women (me and his daughter's mom) he had children with. The two of us, her and I, knew when we decided to become parents, that it was lifetime committment and not a "only if the marriage lasts" committment, like a lot of people do. How fortunate that your X lucked out and found YOU...and how VERY fortunate for your son.
I may not like all that my X does, and when my son goes with him I feel like a piece of my heart is missing while he's gone, but I also know that he has ME...and I am one person, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that will do right by him. Always. Part of doing right, like you said, is reconciling the past. Part of it is accepting THIS is how it is, so I can choose to sink or swim...and, well, sinking isn't an option, is? If we sink, we take our sons down with us, and that's NOT the kind of women we are.
Thank you for posting this. It was refreshing, beautiful, and a lovely, lovely thing to read.
Hugs!
I am getting to a similar place myself, I think.
I hope you have a nice trip to go get your boy :)
Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed reading your OP. Brings me hope that it will get easier down the road.
Personally, I have the hardest time when the kids are not around and I'm alone. Sounds like, although it was tough for you, you have made it out strong and in good spirits. That really brings me hope!
Travel safe picking up your little man!!