http://tacoproper.com/

Like eating tacos...*chants...I could change, I could change*

In all seriousness, I wish I knew that answer...maybe then we wouldn't have the need for support groups. I think we just become stuck and until we are ready or find a way to become unstuck, things will be status quo.

You know your actions are self-destructive, but you can do nothing about it?

They are your actions. You certainly can do something about it.

I think you write it down...
Write the bad behavior
Write the new and improved behavior
Write a plan of action
Practice every day for the rest of your life

Eat tacos

Making changes is the beat of the drum that I've always marched to. The bad thing is that some of paths taken has led me to stand still and make more changes....see....the irony? Life is about changes. Some of the changes are good, some worse that your present reality but, then again, you beat that drum again and march again.

Staying stagnant and citing about how damaged you are leads you no where and it gets mundane.

How do you make a change? Do the opposite of what you are doing. What could be worse at this point? Unless you are happy with your meager existance questioning the same things over and over.

If you know that your actions are self-destructive and yet, you are unable? I CALL BULLSHIT on that. Knowledge is power and if you are ignoring that knowledge, you are choosing to stay in self-destructive mode.

I am tired of some of my choices but, I am glad that I can say that I've made choices. I am growing. I hope you grow too.

Oh and here are some tofu tacos....see...that's chage!

PS Keep the change. :oP

*change* *focking typos*

I would feel like a fraud telling you how to change when i waited for my husband to leave me while things were horrible for two years... i can only say i hope change happens sooner for you than later. It's not so terrible on the other side..

hiker...please tell me you are right!! I wish for me the ability to change the things that I now see needed to be changed ten long years ago. Married 23 of those... but he was only married to me the first 13... and I could have left then...but chose not to. Now I have learned...and will not make that mistake again!

I think there are still lessons learned if you stay, runnerkate. In some ways i feel invincible, having lived through some of the way he treated me. I became incredibly strong. I know what i don't want next time. I feel determined not to give up peace in the household, now that I have it... There are always lessons learned and strength gained, even from bad experiences.. hugs to you.

I think its a good idea that everyone should learn how to make change. When I was a young pizza delivery manager guy, there were these kids who worked with me that didn't know how to make change. They were constantly bringing back the wrong amount of money and messing up my drawer. I found it not a very positive experience, if only they would of learned to make change, it is a really simple thing to do, sheeeesh!

Dale,
You are a jackass.
Love,
Rman

i believe with change comes a loss, even if we are not completely aware of what that loss is at the time.. Good or bad.

My experiences with change have been thru loss.

I'm sure there are other more positive forms of change, but i have never experienced them and anytime i try to think of what i'd do if i actually followed my heart, i get this feeling that i am lost and do not know where to begin?