Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I will try to keep this brief. My husband and I have been married 12yrs, no kids and both professionals in our careers. Out of no where my husband tells me he has lost a connection with me. He doesn't know why but he doesn't know if he can get it back.
I am a very attentive wife, who supported him in all his endevours, never nagged about money or spending time with the guys (which wasnt often becasue we enjoyed our time together) and who's world revolved around this man. We were great, all our friends were envious of our marriage and are telling him he is making a mistake and not to make any rash decisions. Can somone really just wake up and be done with years of life building? I was made aware that he had been texting with a woman right before he told me about the loss of connection, but I know it is over and it was a symptom of whatever he is dealing with. So I dont beleive that he is being tempted in that way any longer.
I now know he harbors resentment towards me for his not spending enough time with his mom who is no longer with us, but how can I make him realize that isnt my fault and the longer he holds on to it the harder it is for him (not me). How can this be such a tough decision for him on a life with me ...when there were no red flags we were at our end? - was I really that horrible of a person
If anyone has any insight on the male psyche and how they process resentment, I would love to hear. Do I wait for him to decide whether he wants to put the work into us?
~lovewinsright?
I have been doing so much reading and over analyzing how I got to this position and what I keep coming up with is that it isn’t me...it’s him. It’s all him. He has not come to terms that he was half of this marriage and so brought fault as well. He is pushing all blame on me and I know in my heart I have done nothing to intentionally get us to this point. Are there things I need to work on, yes, but not marriage blow up items.
How have your friends handled things? Do you have a good support system?
Did you end up going to counselling? What did that look like?
Do you think he’d ever try to get you back? Would you accept him?
I’m not sure to be honest. I had never done anything like it.
All I knew was I had hurt my friend and couldn’t / can’t make it right. But that I will keep trying.
People take each other for granted.
I really hope you find a way through your problems x
I apologize - I just logged in and found your response on 6/19/20.
3/4 of my response didn’t make it to board