This year seriously sucked.
I left my fiancé who I was with for five years and is also the father of my child has been difficult. A couple months after I thought I had a chance with one of my closest friends who has been there for me for years upon years but he just told me he wants to be young and mess round while he still can and he’s not looking to date or anything. But little did I know that he did want to date but not me I basically told him that he’s dead to me because he’s very selfish and ignorant but the love I have for him is really strong so it’s really hard to follow my word and just push them out of my life it’s not easy for me to just push people out of my life like that I’m a very loyal and trustworthy and caring person it’s in my DNA. Then This guy who I recently started hanging out with me and him had so much in common when it comes to being hurt and wanting to find love and with our definition of love is and what values we look for in a relationship we related to each other so well and that scary and I honestly thought that this was too good to be true for match made in fucking heaven some bullshit like that but little did I know that he broke down my walls for only one purpose and that was to fuck me..then drop me like a bad habit I haven’t really talked to him since than. Also my grandfather practically raised my sisters and I died on Christmas morning at 10:18 AM so that fucked me up pretty bad so I’m just getting fucked over left and right and I no longer have any hope for 2018 at this point I’m numb I can’t really feel anything right now I don’t know what it’s like to be happy I know that’s really selfish To say because I have a child and he’s a greatest thing in my life but I know when he’s older he’s going to go on with his life he’s not gonna be here forever but I know I’ll just be alone everyone like my friends and family tells me I’m such a gem but how can I be a gem when all people do is just throw me away. I’ve went over in my mind over and over and over again what did I do wrong what did I say how did I see it what... Did I do to make them think that they could just do that to me my five-year relationship with my fiancé wasn’t the greatest that’s why I left and I wasn’t searching for anybody These guys just popped in my life at the end of 2017 and they fucked up my head pretty bad I don’t know what to do or think or say anymore I’m just numb
hii was rediagnosed not bipolar. I stopped my Lamotrigone part my doctor. I am feeling up and down. This sucks. I read this is normal until my brain goes back to normal functioning.
i woke up this morning and checked my phone and I had a voicemail from the social security office. I called back and left a message. My hearing was June 12th. Is this a good sign?