How long have you been married? Do you have children? You should really consider going into therapy. That could help you a lot to get to the bottom of this issue and heal. There is no shame in getting help. I have been in therapy for about six months now and I couldn't imagine where I'd be now without it. I have been married for 23 years to an abusive man who I am currently forced to live with until our house sells. I found a great therapist on Psychology Today's website. They have a feature where you can put in your zip code and get the profiles of all the licensed therapists in your area. You can read their profiles and decide which one works best for you. In my case, I found two I liked so I gave them brief interviews over the phone and then chose the one I liked best. She has been a HUGE blessing!

I can relate to how you describe and hope it gets better for you. The best advice I can give you is to find some distractions that do not make you feel guilty afterwards. Join a league of some sort like, bowling, pool, volleyball, soccer, softball, Gym, or a Bootcamp for a few examples. You *will* make new friends that will get your mind off things.

I have found emotions can be left on the field and provide hours, if not days, of relief. In my worst times I thought I was losing it because of what was going on with her and I. I spontaneously left work on occasion not 100% sure I would not drive into on-coming traffic. I had so much relief in playing soccer. The exercise, comradery, and chance to release "anger" (but we all know it was just pain) on the field did me wonders. I honestly feel like it saved my life that year.

Good Luck my friend!

Yes I agree about getting involved in sports to help, I was a boxer years ago, and today I plan to get back in training. I really appreciate people here having compassion, I feel like I stay hid away because I know people in my life don't want to hear my problems, so this is a nice relief.

Nice! I am sure the boxing ring is a great place to work through some things. Especially if you have history in the GYM. I am sure you will find some peace going back to a place you were before.

Samantha is also right about the Therapist. It can't hurt either. I have done that as well and it is nice to organize some thoughts.

Yes Samantha I have kids. The younest is 15 and the last at home. She goes back and forth from me to her mom. She is taking it pretty well, they all are for the most part.

Fog horn therapy sounds like it might help you
Get going in the right direction. Jumping into
Rebound or sex relationships is not the answer.
As you know if you are older person with life
experience.

Now is the time to act mature and deal with the
Fallout. Divorce care.org is a great group to help
With the grieving and divorce process.

Sorry for all your pain and hurt many of us on here
Have walked thru infidelity and/or dealt with a checked
out spouse so we get the pain and hurt. HUGS