Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So tomorrow i start back to work full time having to accept my life will never be what it was. Ive been having severe panic attacks everyday and now im going to have to try and concentrate on work, when really all i want to do is hide in a corner. Plus, i know deep in my heart my husband is with another woman and that kills me. After being with him for almost 20 years im tossed aside like yesterdays garabge. Will i ever feel better? Will I get past this?
Why? Because this is who he ALWAYS was and this is how committed to your relationship he always was. You just didn't know it.
Lucky you only lost 20 yrs. Imagine losing 30. Or 40. Or 50.
I broke up with the husband of 17 yrs in 2010 and the first year was like I'd been run over by a truck. I say I broke up? He left me in May when I told him I was depressed. 'oh well that's it' he said, I talked him back round, promised to do better, try harder, etc. Realised this made me even more of a serf, even more of a slave. I said in December when he came home from business and the calves were off the bottle and the lambs were off the bottle and there was a chance, I told him 'I need to decide whether to leave or not'.
That was all she wrote. He was annoyed. Can you imagine? Annoyed. I remember his words. "I've got a trip to xx place tomorrow, I've got a press release to write, I've got christmas parties all next week. I can't even hope to get on to this till after Christmas.'
And then he went and unpacked, and then for the next week he went to parties, and he did his thing, and I finally realised. i finally realised what I'd been lying to myself about all along.
That he didn't give the tiniest shit about me. Not a processed pea. And it all made sense.
And I lost 10kg in a week not eating, till i realised that he wasn't going to answer because that was his answer. And then it all went down hill from there....
But I'd rather put my arm in a food processor than go back to that. Death by starvation. Just awful.
You're better alone. When you get through the grief, and there is grief, you will be happier in control, and your own man as it were. You just hang on in there. You'll get there.
PS in my experience work helps enormously. Because it gets you through time while you concentrate on something else. Work is a lifesaver although it's terrifying in prospect, it's a relief in reality.
We were together for 22 years, married for 19. She decided she wanted to have fun. Her fun was to drag me down with constant insults, lies, break me financially and had multiple affairs.
Since then I have seen the light and realized that she was a narcissist and was gaslighting me for years. I thought I was going crazy. She did a lot of things to me that no human should do to another.
Time and help from therapy and divorce group has helped me with my healing. I would never go back to a situation like that ever again. This was really a blessing in disguise.
You will get there. Stay strong and positive.
-HUGS-
Same thing happened to me. It felt like someone was ripping out my heart. Getting through it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It does get better! As cliche as it sounds, "One day at a time." Honestly, going back to work helped!
Do you have a support system to which you could reach out? My family and friends from church were a huge help, and I eventually sought counseling. I am closer to my children and parents than I ever have been. Praying that you will be able to persevere and stay positive.