Not long before I was scheduled to move in to the apt I had rented, my ex came in to the living room and asked me not to go. If I had not had a signed contract that meant I would be in deep deep ka ka if I didnt move in, I would have stayed.
I told him, I want to stay but you know I can't break that contract. He nodded. Silly me, for a few secs I thought it meant he wanted me..It didnt. I could see the wall he had built go back up. There was never any indication it was that he wanted me still. He was just afraid.
Has he said anything to indicate he's changed his mind about the divorce? Do you want to work things out if he has changed his mind? If he has changed his mind is it because he still wants you?
If your answer to those questions is no...it doesnt matter what he's thinking.

No...not at all. He would be to "proud" to admit to anything. Just the kind of person he is...he never makes mistakes, it's always somebody else's fault, and no accountability. I honestly think he is just lonely and bored. I refuse to give in to his need for short conversations. I see why it's so important that one avoid all contact.

I think you're right, stay away. Don't engage and don't get drawn back in. You know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. What I've also learned is that if you really want to know if a person has changed watch what they do not what they say. What has he done to take steps to address the issues, look at himself, get help? Your'e moving in the right direction.keep going forward...

He is sending me texts again today as well. I almost responded but then erased it, thank goodness. It's hard not to give in. He is just bored and needs someone to talk to, I'm sure. I think he foolishly thought that when he made the decision to end it, that we could still be friends. Sorry...not happening. Not giving him the satisfaction of being able to ease out of the relationship. He doesn't deserve anything good from me. He can get his attention from somewhere else.

my stbx thought we'd be friends too. but due to the nature of the end of our marriage, i have no desire to be his friend. (he cheated over and over, blackout drinking, not helping at all now financially or w our son, started soliciting random women for sex on FB within 24 hours of telling me he wanted divorce). i am saving up money to hire an attorney. but in the meantime, he honestly thinks i should furnish his new apartment w spare furniture (mine before we even married) and that he should be able to swing by at 15 minutes notice and i should drop everything for him to see our baby, but he cannot be alone w him due to his drinking, pot smoking, etc, and i don't want to see him or have him "drop by" randomly. he isn't txting me, so i feel for you there. but stay strong. it isn't your responsibility to do anything at all for him. especially if he is trying to use you as a boredom cure, how selfish of him! you're doing the right thing! :)

My ex wanted to be friends, but mostly because he wanted to be able to say that everything was fine and maintain the possible drama. I, in turn, just handled it however I felt comfortable, and said f*ck it to his wants and needs.

Sure, we communicate due to having a child, but it's a couple texts, here and there, few and far in between. Our lives are 100 percent separate, and even in child raising, I don't necessarily clue him in on everything because he can learned to initiate once in a while.

I won't do anthing that makes me "less than" or makes me uncomfortable with regards to him.

I have plenty of friends.