I apologize for this post. I don't know why I could not talk myself into condensing it. Feel free to skip it entirely!

An employee recruiter I hadn't seen for a few years invited me to a business luncheon. Our previous meetings had been a mix of business and friendly conversation. The friend part was because he is a former football player for my favorite team, hence we share a passion. I don't know why but this particular invitation seemed odd to me, even though my STBX and I have had lunch with him several times. I replied with small talk until he brought up his wife. At that point I decided his intent was harmless and I accepted the invitation. I was with my STBX so long that I don't even think of men in a romantic way. They all seem asexual to me. That is one reason I can't relate to the temptations cheaters face. It dawned on me after our lunch yesterday that he might have been hitting on me, or maybe it was my imagination. When he complimented me about my appearance among other things, I didn't think anything about it. Our conversation started with him asking about my marriage falling apart. It was more personal than our prior conversations, but we have been friends long enough that it didn't bother me. We aren't BFF's, but you get the point. He shared with me that he had been sleeping on the couch for several months prior to his affair with an old flame. At that point I seized the opportunity to glean information from a cheater's perspective. I was stunned when he told me that he wouldn't be able to get up from the table at that moment if he needed to. He was pitching a tent, so to speak. Talk about awkward! Thank goodness that was near the end of the meal. When I got back to my office which is a five-minute drive, he had emailed me. He told me that he would like to have business luncheons more often and discuss business or whatever comes up, his treat of course.

A former coworker who is married has been sending me questionable messages on Facebook since he learned of my split. He is the holy roller type so I was really surprised when he told me that he misses me, wants to see me more often, and wants me to move closer to him. I only live 20 minutes away with traffic. Once again, I made small talk until the conversation turned to his wife. He asked me if we could get together for New Year's Eve but I told him I was going to watch the ball drop and then go to bed.

I have never cheated on anyone nor have I ever been the other woman. Why are the married men coming out of the woodwork? Even my STBX won't stop pursuing me. I don't mean that as conceited as it sounds. Anyway, I just hate rejecting people. I hate rejecting my STBX and seeing him hurt. I hate having the awkward conversation letting someone know I am only interested in friendship. I am not ready to date and not sure I ever will be, but if I am, I hope I can meet someone other than a married man! I wonder if i am putting off some kind of vibe?!