Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Well, I knew it was going to be like this, but not like THIS!
No phone call, no text, nothing. It is the first time I have spent Christmas without her in the 8 years that I have known her. Thanksgiving too. I put up a Christmas tree and decorated on Christmas Eve going into Christmas morning.
My Black Labrador Retriever and I spent them alone. Much later on both nights, I met my friend who lost his wife of 27 years and partner of 38 years to heart failure at Denny's for a late dinner. In many ways, he is doing much better than I am. Yet, I am still devastated by this.
Having no parents, no siblings here and few genuine friends makes this very sad and is getting to me. I am severely depressed and I sleep almost all day. My hours are reversed and I do not feel like getting out of bed and facing life. I feel overwhelmed and so behind in everything.
When we were together, I felt stronger, a lot more confident, supported and loved. Her family also likes me a real lot and I know they can't believe this either.
Also, it is very rainy and overcast here. That does not cheer me up.
I am sorry to rant and vent. I know I can get support here that I greatly need.
Thank you for reading and God bless you all!
No phone call, no text, nothing. It is the first time I have spent Christmas without her in the 8 years that I have known her. Thanksgiving too. I put up a Christmas tree and decorated on Christmas Eve going into Christmas morning.
My Black Labrador Retriever and I spent them alone. Much later on both nights, I met my friend who lost his wife of 27 years and partner of 38 years to heart failure at Denny's for a late dinner. In many ways, he is doing much better than I am. Yet, I am still devastated by this.
Having no parents, no siblings here and few genuine friends makes this very sad and is getting to me. I am severely depressed and I sleep almost all day. My hours are reversed and I do not feel like getting out of bed and facing life. I feel overwhelmed and so behind in everything.
When we were together, I felt stronger, a lot more confident, supported and loved. Her family also likes me a real lot and I know they can't believe this either.
Also, it is very rainy and overcast here. That does not cheer me up.
I am sorry to rant and vent. I know I can get support here that I greatly need.
Thank you for reading and God bless you all!
Like it or not...force yourself to get up, showered, and dressed. Get out of the house if only for a take-out coffee.
It's not likely to get better soon, but if you work at it...it will get better. One day at a time, one step at a time.
Sometimes this is a good time to start volunteering somewhere. It forces you out of the house, and has someone counting on you, while at the same time, it's a bit forgiving if you have to cancel. Person to person interaction really helps too.
Healing hugs,
Patti
I agree with Patti. Do the little things that take care of you. Even if you take yourself to a coffee/tea shop and work on your laptop or read--being with other people is good for a bit each day.
Don't compare yourself with others like your friend who lost his wife. In due time you too will feel the other side of pain---joy. It is a process. You are right where you are supposed to be.
Realize that the cure for pain is going through the pain and just accepting it is there, no matter how much it feels awful.
Get disciplined too with some exercise and whatever other things give you a creative outlet--writing, art work, crafts, building things...
Like you I am learning to be alone and building my confidence up again.
Keep reading the DailyStrength postings and give others support, too. It will help you heal.
Sending you a gentle hug.
One of my biggest things is straightening up this place! It is overwhelming! I am an admitted hoarder and very sentimental. I have thrown things out, only to later wish I had not. It HAS to get done and within the next week. How to get it all done?!
Anyway, I ALMOST called her tonight. We texted this morning a little and that was it. I am trying not to call her, but part of me feels that if I do NOT try to call her, she will take that as me not wanting her or not wanting to fix things. Yet, another part of me does not want to call her as to make her see that I am not needy and wanting her back (which I am).
I will try and follow your advice and get up abd be active. I certainly have endless things to do and not much time to do them, but need to do them during the holidays.
Thank you both and hugs back to you both!
I'm going through the same thing right now. Recently left my alcoholic husband of 14 years (together 16). No, he hasn't been drunk the entire time........just the past 5-6 years.
Its VERY difficult not to pick up the phone and send a text or to give him a call. I also feel that by my silence, he will find that he's just fine without me and that hurts me..........A LOT. While I've wanted out the marriage for a very long time (and I do mean a very long time) it doesn't make the transition any easier. Not one bit.
I have work but I find I'm starting to make silly mistakes cause I'm not focused. I have my cross-stitch and I've moved in with a friend who's a year out of a long term relationship herself. So, we are healing together. But again........it doesn't make the pain, hurt, guilt, frustration and despair any better.
Should you ever need an "ear", I'm a good listener.
Take care of you!!!
Praying for your strength and peace for your heart.
I am working on organizing my place, too. Let's challenge one another to do a bit each day. Even if it means clearing 1 square foot area. The point is to see progress bit by bit.
I put on healing music while I work--even my dogs love the healing music! Sometimes it is native flute music like Carlos Nakai, other times it is healing meditation music I find on youtube.
Up for the challenge?
I am definitely up for it! Started a VERY little.
Suprisingly, we had a very normal conversation. We talked for almost an hour. She asked me how my Christmas was and I said it was lousy. Other than being with my dog and much later meeting to eat with a friend of mine, it was indeed. She just said she was sorry. I asked about their usual Christmas family gathering; which we went to together for the past 8 years. Sounded like it was as great as ever. I did not ask if anyone asked about us or anything.
Told me what has been happening in her life and told her what has been happening in mine. I lost it once, but did not let her hear me. She may have, but if she did she did not say anything.
I just miss her so much and this Christmas and holiday season feels unlike any other.
I came very, very close to telling her my feelings and that I would like for us to try again. I also wanted to ask her if this was temporary and if there was any possibility of us ever being together as we were. But I did not. I am trying to establish contact with her and do not want her to not talk with me because she thinks I am going to always bring that up.
Yet, she sounds like everything is normal and did not sound emotional at all. I am guessing in her mind, we are only friends and that I have accepted that we are broken up. I have certainly not accepted any of this and still want to fix it.
The fact that she takes my calls, still speaks with me,and returns my text messages gives me hope.
Thank you for any and all comments and advice.
God bless you and keep you all safe!
Look, she's done. If she ever were to want you back she would have to make that step there's nothing you can do to make her want you.
I had wayyy too many convos with my ex wife like this and they were just pointless and made me feel horrible a day or 2 later. You need to work her out of your brain and that takes time, you can't rush it unfortunately..for me I still hurt sometimes but nothing like the early days. I don't love her anymore and that took quite a while to flush out. In the early days I would've done anything to get back together but now I wouldn't give her the time of day. You'll get there eventually! Read the www.breakuprecoveryguide.com website it's a great guide that helped me.
Take care...and don't contact her!!! No Facebook either!!!
Love the idea of an organization challenge. I'm working on it to. I'm trying to clean out (garbage, recycle, or give away) 10 items a day every day in January. Old stuff in the fridge counts... old toiletries count... old magazines... ratty towels, chipped plates... etc. I figure 10 a day will get me through all the "easy" stuff by the end of Jan and then I can face the more sentimental stuff. As I come across stuff that was my ex's, I bag it and send to him (books, CDS he liked and I didn't, old father's day cards...)
Good luck!