So sorry you are feeling lonely. I feel just as lonely but we are still married. I've been thinking of divorce for a while. I really don't want a divorce but if things don't change, I don't see me being able to continue as we are.

Anyway, as for how to fill your time, for me, I like home projects. Redecorating, reorganizing, painting, etc.

I also enjoy digital scrapbooking. I can spend hours on end working on the photo books. I use Shutterfly, the site and photo storage is free. You just pay for what your order.

Catching up on TV series I've been wanting to watch, like This is us.

If you like animals, volunteer at local shelters or other types of organizations that help those who are lost, abandoned or hurt

If animals aren't your thing, volunteer at schools during the school year or volunteer at nursing homes.

Hope this gives some ideas. Hugs!

I like doing things with friends like we started having tea parties/ game night at my house, doing something for yourself u wouldn't normally have time for message, hot springs,etc. I really got into exercise.

You honestly don't know how to keep yourself occupied and busy? Or do you just want to be entertained by others?

I'm sorry (no, not really) if that sounds harsh, but really, you are an adult woman. Surely you can figure out something to do so you won't be bored and lonely. If you put forth some effort, I'm sure you could come up with a myriad of activities that would relieve your boredom and loneliness. However, since it appears that you rely on others (children, mom) to keep you occupied, I think laziness is the true culprit here.

@cora.belle. That was harsh! I am anything but lazy!!!

If you think that was harsh, when we were kids my mother used to say "so, what do you want me to do about it, tap dance on the ceiling"?

Fact is, having hit that bump in the road as well, we have to start developing ourselves and our interests and figuring out creative ways to be with ourselves.

Others can suggest, but you may not like reading. I do. I like exercising. You may not.

Figure out what YOU enjoy.

As Dandelion suggests, figure out what YOU enjoy. Not willing to put forth the energy to do this suggests laziness and/or apathy. That's all I'm saying.

Btw, your husband may be a narcissist, but YOU are a typical codependent who lives for others and have not developed a sense of who you are outside of "them", which is why you are clueless as to what to do with yourself at the moment.

This is a fantastic opportunity to change that.

Because I can tell you right now, were you to get into another relationship, it would be a rerun of this last one. Because you don't know any other way to be.

So sorry to all!! I thought this was a place to ask for help and get advice. Apparently, I was wrong. Sorry for wasting time.

I just gave you help.

You seem to know your husband is a narcissist but you don't know you're codependent?

There's a reason narc's choose the women they do. Because everything has to revolve around THEM.

I thought this would be good news. As in giving yourself permission to explore and create your life to YOUR liking.

Apparently not. Guess as long as we can blame the other guy why try to evolve.

Okey dokey, well I'd suggest a jigsaw puzzle then.

You received advice to seek your own interests, to find out what YOU enjoy. You were also given specific suggestions - scrapbooking, volunteering, watching TV, game nights, exercising, reading. You were also given some deeper aspects of yourself to ponder. Don't know what else you were hoping to find here. Some times help comes to those who help themselves.

Whooper, everyones approach on here is a little
Different. We all have different perspectives. Many
of us on here do know what you are facing And going
thru.

Are you in therapy? Getting divorced? Recovery From
narc abuse is not simple, easy or quick as Just getting
away from them and then it will all work Out magically.

Narcs, addicts and bad guys target codependents That
is who they tend to look for. Who else would put the narc/
addict first and place their own needs wants and desires
behind the addict/narc.

I myself attend alanon, have a great therapist that is Abuse,
alcohol and drug trained and she is a 12 stepper too I have
attended divorce care multiple times.

My own recovery Is ongoing and i try to be gentle and kind
to myself as much As possible. No more beating myself up
as i heal, grow and Change. Its not an easy process especially
When you come from the same stuff then you have a lifetime
To recover from literally. HUGS

Wow this is harsh. She feels lost and probably depressed. Why would anyone give her a hard time here? She's asking for help not criticism. Whopper. I feel very similar on many days and am trying to say "yes" to any invtations to go out or try something new from my friends and coworkers...it helps but does not fix everything. Try a new book or movie 4 times a week. Anything is better and sometimes even that seems like work. I understand...I do.

I feel lost and depressed too.

If I didn't I wouldn't be here.

I'm at a point though where expecting or depending on others is more wearying than learning to reinvent my life so my time is full of things I enjoy.

The OP doesn't even seem to know what that is.

I started a divorce support group in kik

Divorce care does help a lot with the grieving
And divorce related issues www.divorcecare.org
This cost $25 donation and i only paid once and
Went thru it multiple times as long as i needed to.

There is also www.rebuilding.org which is based
On bruce fishers book. I think this one cost $300
And its about rebuilding thru the divorce. You meet
Once a week and they try to meet outside once
A week.

Many churches have some kind of support groups
To help people transition thru divorce. During This
time you need as Much help as you can get to move
thru the grief and come out the other side. HUGS