If he intentionally hurt you. The chances are...you hurt him without knowing in my guess.

I know its hard I've asked myself the same question and asked her why after twenty years would you hurt me this way all I got was a pitiful "I'm sorry I didn't want you anymore". It didn't make me feel any better just sad and hurt even more. sometimes I think it's best not to worry about those question's just put them behind you because no matter what the answer is it won't make you feel any better..For me it's been better to just say to myself she did what was needed for me to open my eyes and move on otherwise I would probably be holding on to something that's not there.. Letting go is hard.. Be strong, Hugs to you...

You are not likely to get honesty. If they could be honest they may have been honest when the relationship started to go sideways for them and perhaps been saved. But honestly people that lack the kind of honesty are usually self absorbed and manipulative.
If you get any answers it will likely be smoke blowing self justification

Thank you. There was no communication on his end and when he did say something he played games with me. For instance he said he wanted us to be friends then next thing I know we are sleeping together. It was a bad relationship, very unhealthy. I care way more then I should about him. Just need more time.

I think no matter what the answer is its not going to make things better or make things easier. What answer can ease the pain of rejection, or hurtful actions, there s no answer that can suffice. I didnt love you anymore, I met someone new, I changed, you changed, no answer is a good answer, nothing will make sense or make the pain go away. It sucks, I think thats one of the hardest things is the wondering why??? And if I knew why what could I have done.....it sucks!!!!! If only it were as easy as someone treats you shitty you just stop wanting them.........stop caring about them.....but our hearts and heads dont work like that :(

Yes very true, it is hard wondering why. You are also right about not needing to know the answer. My answer I came up with should help. I know I can work through this rough patch.

I can totally relate. I am still fresh and wanted to know why so badly. Being on this site has really helped me realize that no answer will ever make the hurt go away.

i have wondered similar things myself. how or why can someone hurt you, either on purpose or just out of sheer carelessness? there are a lot of "reasons" but none of them are good. several people have told me, and i'm beginning to see that this is true:

"the way people treat you is a statement about who they are as a person. it is not a statement about you."

people who are mean and/or careless with others don't like themselves. they may put on false bravado, but they don't truly like who they are inside. another that i have found helpful is:

"someone treats you badly because they have unresolved issues or they are mentally ill. dont ever let someone make you think that their bad behavior is your fault."

you said it, "letting go is hard." but for me it helps me to realize that my stbx was intentionally hurting me in a lot of ways, and i see now that i have a bit of distance how unhappy he is w himself as a person. glad you are in a better place. i have my good days and bad days. i hope i am stronger when i get to the 8 month mark. hugs and support to you! :)

Very true. My ex does have a lot of problems and I do not think he likes himself very much. He puts up a tough exterior but I know he is hurting. He is a coward because he hides behind text messages. It is very sad but I still care way too much.

There are some questions to which we never get the answer. We have to accept that. And usually, when it comes down to it, the reason why doesnt matter because knowing the reason doesnt change anything. He might not even know the answer himself.

I wouldn't contact him for the answer. I don't think people ever get closure in relationships. I don't think you will ever know and I don't think he knows. Sometimes people just do it just to do it. Just know that you are away from him and you can move on.