Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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FeelingLikeNothing 04/09/2014

My divorce is looming ever nearer. According to the paperwork a judge should be signing it on April 23rd.

I think I'm starting to feel really stressed again, as it gets closer and closer. I both want it just be *over* with already and yet I dread it happening. I'm definitely having issues sleeping again.

I feel like I want to pace non-stop to bleed off the nervous energy. Or pull the covers over my head and just hide until it's all over. I alternate between trying to not think about it at all, and borderline obsessing over it.

I wish I knew how I'm going to react to it once it's actually done, and the paperwork arrives. I've scheduled some days off work so I'll at least have some time to decompress without having to be around people.

11Christmases 04/09/2014

I think scheduling some days off work is an excellent idea.

Best of luck. I expect I'll be finalizing sometime this year myself.

FeelingLikeNothing 04/09/2014

I expect it also doesn't help that the 6th anniversary of my mom killing herself is coming up on the 17th.

I'd really like the option to just skip the month of April in the future. Can't we develop some time travel technology to let us skip over days we'd just rather not face? :p

smileyfacetoo 04/09/2014

I'm having the same feelings and I'm in about the same timeline. I think once the divorce is final, you (and I) will feel much better and be able to move on. I'm actually having a divorce party to try and commemorate the end of my past and the beginning of a new, more healthy life. It is bittersweet but you can do it! Hang in there.

brandnewkindofme 04/09/2014

I agree with smileyface I think the closure and finality that comes with those final papers, helps us really grasp the reality of what our lives are now and truly move forward. Truthfully I feel stuck. I want it done. I didn't want the divorce I was left with no choice. Since it is not going to change I don't to get stuck in the pain and broke-ness, I want to move on with my life and see this a new beginning and live better than I was able to with him. Having this finalized will help me do that and it will help you too. Hang in there better times ahead. I know this for sure. It's a process that cant last forever. Especially if we purpose ourselves to do the work, grow, let go of what we can't change trust that everything happens for a reason and decide and live well. ((((((((((hugs))))))

brandnewkindofme 04/09/2014

Also I am really sorry about the loss of your mom I am sure that is adding to the stress. Take this time off work to be good to you... maybe a massage, a walk in nature with a friend, the beach, anything that takes your mind off the stress you are starting to feel. Be patient with yourself and believe that you are strong enough to get through this, cause you are! Praying for you (((( hugs))))

ALD13072 04/09/2014

I totally understand how you feel. My divorce was final in October and I can say this is really when I started to heal and move forward.
I like the idea of taking a few days off, but be kind to yourself and do something you enjoy. Like smiley said, I too had a party (ok, not a party but dinner with 3 girlfriends) but chose to call it a New Beginnings Party as I didn't feel right celebrating the ending of my marriage.
It's ironic how I thought I would never forget my divorce date or exactly how many days/months/etc it has been, but I really have to think about it now...I guess that is a true sign that I am moving on and I hope that you are able to move forward and heal soon as well.

Sorry to hear about your mom.

Hugs to you!

deleted_user 04/10/2014

FeelingLi . . . I like the way you describe your feelings. I sense that you've been through the worst and just anticipating the final hour. I am sorry about your Mom but when the divorce date comes, treat yourself either in stillness, or ways that give you comfort.
Take care and best wishes

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