Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After 11 years, we have decided to split. Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond our control we are forced to live together and play 'house' for at least the next 8 months. We have never been a couple that fights or yells but the tension between us is palpable and I don't want it to start affecting the kids. The eventually situation is going to be hard enough for them, i don't want the next 8 months to be hard on them as well. Any suggestions?
deleted_user
You don't say why you are forced to live together, but if possible one of you should move out. I've even seen others on here mention something like house-sharing, where the person who is with the kids lives in the house, and the other lives in an apartment, and they switch when it's their turn to have the kids. Keeps the kids in the same house with some continuity. I think that's quite ingenious, but it would take 2 people willing to put aside their differences for the kids. Kind of hard to do when embroiled in divorce. Other than that, really the best thing to do would be to sit down and work out a schedule and some rules to abide by. Keep your distance from each other. Give the other alone time with the kids. Do your separate thing, but out of side of the other and the kids. I guess it boils down to respect, which is hard to come by in a divorce. Good luck!
Channie1126
We have to stay together because we are in the process of adopting a foster child who has been with us most of his life. Even though we are separating we are committed to being his parent. If we separated and tried to adopt him that way we would add another year or so to the process and there is the risk the state could take him. Not something we are willing to risk.
Channie1126
Thank you for the advice Cheryt!
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