Good for you! It doesn't take long for porn to turn into chat and online sex and eventually a phone relationship and emotional affair....then physical affair.........and so on.......

You are so right as when we made love I felt like the porn queens where in the bed with us. I wonder if all men are like this? I spent most of my marriage alone and lonely. I am a very loving and passionate woman and I certainly do not blame this on myself.

It's not about you; it is an addiction. Addicts are selfish and risk losing everything to fulfill their insatiable desires.

My husband watches porn probably twice a month but would rarely come to bed with me. Even though it wasn't often it still sucked.

If it's an addiction for him would he be willing to go to counselling about it or would you be willing?

I know it hurts and I'm sorry for your pain but it will get easier.

He probably watches it 8-10 hours a week minimum. Also he is constantly downloading it in the background. The kids walked in on him and saw him. I spoke to his ex and he did the same thing to her and that is why she left him. He claims he is not addicted and can stop at any time. When he is not watching porn then he sits at the PC and play solitaire for hours. He does anything to avoid us and conversation. I feel this is his way of getting sex and feeling sexy without interracting. He seems to have a real problem with interpersonal relationships.

My husband has a porn addiction too. He did exactly as you described and then took it a step further with chats, emotional affairs and eventually swinging. He even was very careless and our young children were exposed. There are important things you need to know about surviving and healing from a relationship with a porn addict.
1. His choice was not and is not ever your fault!!!! It's not your fault. Most porn addicts have a history of emotional or physical abuse in thier background this warps their coping mechanisms and when stress hits they try to fill themselves up with fantasy.
2. YOU CAN NOT change them. Let go of the crazies and change your focus on you. This is so hard but when you do your life will change incrimentally.


The best reference on line for porn addiction that I have found is.

SASH.net lots of stuff and references and support groups online and in big communities to help you.

If you need anymore help or just want to talk I'm here. I'm 9 months out and feeling great now. Just message me.

You can breathe! You will breathe. Stop and focus yourself. Put both feet flat on the floor, sit up straight, close your eyes or lightly focus on a spot on the wall and breathe in deep and slow through your nose and out through your mouth.

It is hard. That is our bodies natural way to relax and calm whatever mood we have. It is a physiological need and response. It will relax you all over.

When you have these sad moments and feel sick or can't breathe because you feel your world is collapsing, just stop, refocus and breathe. It isn't a cure, but it will help to lessen the symptoms a little.

Prayers are sent out for you dear!

Of course he has problems with interpersonal relationships! Who can live up to the standards the porn queens set? It sets unrealistic expectations and when it becomes a habitual problem, how can any kind of normal sex life compare to it.

Thanks for all your great help-He came by yesterday to get some things. I asked him and he does not feel he has a problem? Until he does there will be no change.

What is it with so called adult men and porn. When we were teenagers we were all about porn, could not get enough. I would rather hold a fully clothed woman then stare at porn for a minute, any day of the week. Am I a freak, I just don't get it. Porn is like eating a candy bar with the wrapper still on.

Thanks for giving us women a males response. I am glad their are still some normal men out there like you!! Thank you for that hope!

I feel your pain. Hang in there, things will get better. I too have a husband who's addicted to porn. I've known this for a long time (we've been married 14 years) but I never thought it would present a big problem. Hah! I've caught him a couple times throughout our marriage masturbating while watching porn movies on his computer. It didn't seem to bother him any. If I mentioned to him that I thought it was disgusting he just replied that I'm too judgmental! So, stupid me thought, "well maybe I am" Until recently his 20 year old daughter (my step daughter) came to me and told me that since she was 8 she has witnessed her dad coming home for lunch and catching him masturbating while on the computer. There isn't a day where he doesn't go on the computer watching porn and downloading porn movies. Boy was I mad, and embarrased. I apologized to her, but I haven't yet confronted him with it. I know I should. I have lost all respect for him. to have his daughter confront me really took be off guard! I think he needs help, but I can't live with him anymore. I'm trying to make plans on getting out of the relationship.
You're not alone, You have a friend here!

If you can't breath, you need a friend like mine, my new best friend is a paper bag!

Does anyone know where I can get some help with dealing with my marriage ending over some fictitious women.(Porn) I would rather it end over a real person. Are their any support groups for wives/gf of porn addicts? I need some help!!

I suffered from depression which led me to porn. My wife also threw me out. But Porn wasn't my only release for the depression, I also ran up a large credit card debit. So in short it may be something beyond his controll...something my wife doesn't understand.....Here's to missing her and my son....