Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
thanks for all the support here. i have been trying to reach out too but it has been few and far between. not usually a selfish person, just trying to keep things together. i babble a lot. so bear with me.
we are seperated. i am a week into it. i am trying to stay busy and it has helped to stay active physically. i just went walking/jogging this morning and if i dont do anything else today at least i did that.
my husband travels 80% of the time with his job. usually he is home 3 weekends out of the month; sometimes just two. i was advised that we were seperating over a voice mail last sunday. i asked him if he would be home within the next 14 days so we could talk about it face to face and wrap up loose ends. he said he didnt see why he wouldnt be as that is how it has always been. fast forward to this weekend and he is not being routed thru the house. this is very unusual since he was not here last weekend. (to my knowledge).
i asked him if things had shifted and if he is just asking not to be routed thru the house. i was given this information last weekend and told we would discuss it face to face. i have no reason to believe that has changed, other than he is soley looking out for himself and could really put me over a barrel here. in his mind, he wants things as simple as possible. in my mind, i do too, but i want things as simple as possible for both parties; not just his.
he is the primary bread winner. i am a full time student. he said this will not change and i told him that is a 2 year commitment at least. and he said thats fine. if you dont finish nursing school now you never will. i committed that to you and when you are done with school you will have a job to go into and we will go our seperate ways (make the divorce final). he said all he wants from me is to just leave him alone. he feels this is a more than fair deal.
first, it is. second, i need to look out for myself. and until we get something legally signed that we both agree to this, im left out in the wind. from my understanding, we BOTH have to be there at the same time to sign a document of what we both have agreed to. its not something that he can just fax to me from over the road.
my concern is being left out in the wind. i understand it is a week into things. but i told him last sunday if he is not going to be home, i need to withdraw from my summer school class, get that money back (that way it would be a full refund) and look for a full time job (of which there are very few in this area as i looked for part time and full time last sunday in the paper).
i could either believe that nothing has changed in his mind, he is just driving down the road doing his job trying to function like i am and nothing has shifted in his mind. which is more than likely the case. but i am a girl. and my mind goes all over the place. because i dont want to get screwed. if he comes home next weekend and we take care of this then fine. i wont worry about being left out in the wind, i will leave him alone at his request and let him ride off into the sunset. but until then i am biding my time.
i even expressed to him i would REALLY like this all to be taken care of before classes start b/c i have the time to take care of it now.
its hard to wait and take it moment by moment. i want us to be as civil as we can possibly be and i want us to take care of ourselves in this. realistically, if this IS how simple he wants to make it, if he is NOT home next weekend then i will have to take measures to following him around the country and talking to him about it. i know he wants to be free and clear of this, and he will be. this is just part of the process and i dont want to get screwed.
any ideas? im trying to be realistic about this. it just sucks eggs.
we are seperated. i am a week into it. i am trying to stay busy and it has helped to stay active physically. i just went walking/jogging this morning and if i dont do anything else today at least i did that.
my husband travels 80% of the time with his job. usually he is home 3 weekends out of the month; sometimes just two. i was advised that we were seperating over a voice mail last sunday. i asked him if he would be home within the next 14 days so we could talk about it face to face and wrap up loose ends. he said he didnt see why he wouldnt be as that is how it has always been. fast forward to this weekend and he is not being routed thru the house. this is very unusual since he was not here last weekend. (to my knowledge).
i asked him if things had shifted and if he is just asking not to be routed thru the house. i was given this information last weekend and told we would discuss it face to face. i have no reason to believe that has changed, other than he is soley looking out for himself and could really put me over a barrel here. in his mind, he wants things as simple as possible. in my mind, i do too, but i want things as simple as possible for both parties; not just his.
he is the primary bread winner. i am a full time student. he said this will not change and i told him that is a 2 year commitment at least. and he said thats fine. if you dont finish nursing school now you never will. i committed that to you and when you are done with school you will have a job to go into and we will go our seperate ways (make the divorce final). he said all he wants from me is to just leave him alone. he feels this is a more than fair deal.
first, it is. second, i need to look out for myself. and until we get something legally signed that we both agree to this, im left out in the wind. from my understanding, we BOTH have to be there at the same time to sign a document of what we both have agreed to. its not something that he can just fax to me from over the road.
my concern is being left out in the wind. i understand it is a week into things. but i told him last sunday if he is not going to be home, i need to withdraw from my summer school class, get that money back (that way it would be a full refund) and look for a full time job (of which there are very few in this area as i looked for part time and full time last sunday in the paper).
i could either believe that nothing has changed in his mind, he is just driving down the road doing his job trying to function like i am and nothing has shifted in his mind. which is more than likely the case. but i am a girl. and my mind goes all over the place. because i dont want to get screwed. if he comes home next weekend and we take care of this then fine. i wont worry about being left out in the wind, i will leave him alone at his request and let him ride off into the sunset. but until then i am biding my time.
i even expressed to him i would REALLY like this all to be taken care of before classes start b/c i have the time to take care of it now.
its hard to wait and take it moment by moment. i want us to be as civil as we can possibly be and i want us to take care of ourselves in this. realistically, if this IS how simple he wants to make it, if he is NOT home next weekend then i will have to take measures to following him around the country and talking to him about it. i know he wants to be free and clear of this, and he will be. this is just part of the process and i dont want to get screwed.
any ideas? im trying to be realistic about this. it just sucks eggs.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Do you have children?
What state are you in?
I wouldn't withdraw from summer school. The fact that you are registered is an indication that he's committed to seeing you at least that far through school.
(I'm in nursing school too, so I know how hard it is.)
As far as I know, the two of you don't have to be together to sign anything....as long as you each sign in front of notaries.
I strongly suggest that you EACH get your own lawyer. It's find to make your own agreement (we did), but one of you have your lawyer write it up, and have Each of your lawyers make a change or two, then sign it.
An agreement made like that is almost impossible to overturn. And it's also a lot less expensive than just about any other route.
For example, I have child support and alimony for a set amount of time. (It's enough for me to make it through school, and a few months after....BUT if I mess up one semester, I'm on my own.) I also have until then to get a morgage into my own name.
In any case get everything in writing, and run it all through lawyers.