Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi I'm new to this group. I just joined because I told my boyfriend today that i haven't been happy for a long time and that I think he needs to get out of my house and we should break up. I feel bad about it but I know it's for the best. This isn't my first breakup or the first time I've felt like a dick.
My biggest problem right now is just feeling like I can't be with anyone. I didn't leave my boyfriend because I wanted to be with someone else. I feel more like I can't be with anyone and that this breakup was inevitable. Why prolong something that isn't going to work?
But it still doesn't feel nice, breaking up. I know very few people who would have staid with him as long as I did. All I can hope is that he learns from this to be a better person and stand on his own two feet.
Ultimately things ended because he repeatedly violated my trust and I caught him in lies. His old friends and drugs were also a big factor. I lost touch with my friends and family. I also felt like I was being sucked dry and turning into a person I don't like. I've gained weight, am stressed, paranoid, and controlling. Whereas before I was always an easy going fun good friend.
I just have less patience the older I get. I've matured and realize that drinking and smoking are not things I want to be around. I never did anything wild or did drugs because I'm against it. I have a strict sense of right and wrong and always look for signs in my life that things are going right or wrong. In this case no matter how hard I tried, I always felt like things were out of control and negative. Nothing seemed to be working for me and everything was going great for him. It's like I was being punished for being a good person while he just did whatever and i had to be the responsible one and shoulder the consequences.
I feel a burden lifting from my chest. And I know I will save money without him around. But I still feel kinda shitty.
I hope everyone else is doing ok. Lonliness is hard but losing oneself is worse. Blessed be.
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
It is so refreshing to find a young woman who recognizes her own identity, values, goals and future rather than relying on a guy (any guy?) to "complete her".
It is so refreshing to see a young woman realize that to continue to invest time and money, emotion and effort into a relationship that is going nowhere is a colossal waste.
I wish you luck and love in the future, but with your good head and good heart, I think you will come out swimmingly!
PS. Be nice to yourself. You did a good thing, so no need to feel shitty about it.
I can relate when you said it's against your principles to be with someone just because they don't do this or that negative thing. My ex thought I should be grateful that he worked and came home every night. Which of course I was, but that didn't mean his apathy toward me and our marriage should be tolerated forever. A person can only "settle" for so long before it starts messing with their soul, their identity. I also get the feeling like a dick thing, my ex hammered that into me, that I was "ruining everything" because I chose to stop flogging the dead horse. In the end, I know I made the right decision, and I'm glad that you see you did too. Best of everything to you!