Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Just my thoughts

godhelpme1
godhelpme1

Sibce the split, I've told my ex about how much I miss her. She has done the same to me. At times the sadness and loneliness is too much to bear. But today I had a thought. What if this sadness and sorrow is not from missing her, but from feeling like I don't have anyone there to have my back anymore. I've isolated myself and have no contact with friends. I'm truly alone. Maybe what I miss isn't her, but just the security of having someone there for me. Someone that would always be there to help me feel like even if I failed they were there to help me up. How do I gain this sense of security even if I'm alone?

Mimi1978
Mimi1978
Hi, Unfortunately I won't be any help except to say that I sometimes have the same exact feeling. Not that I had any choice in the matter of my separation/soon to be divorce, as my stbxh said "this is what I want" and that was that, but sometimes I do find myself thinking... is it him I miss or is it having someone to share my life (good and bad). It's definitely hard to get through each day but I'm trying to focus on the truth of the relationship, the problems, not only the good pieces which is what I spend the first 5 months doing. I think you are going to have to try finding a support system, what about family members? I also have no friends, as I haven't wanted to communicate with anyone, lucky for me I have my sisters that force themselves on me. :) I think it's important to have people to help get us out of our routine, isolation, and sadness. Hope you feel better soon. Mimi
tabatha
tabatha
You are exactly right and I feel so much better since I have come to that conclusion! I feel like I should take a lot of time though before I even start looking for someone to let into my life ... I now try to think of my STBX as a bad habit I need to break
tsmom2012
tsmom2012
I have been alone for over 4 years now. I want to find someone else but it is extremely hard. First is the trust issues which is going to be a hard thing to get past. Plus the ones I have meet are just looking for sex, total Jerks, etc.. I want someone to do things with you know hangout with, etc..
jojored
jojored
Our minds really crave habit and routine. They used to say it took 21 days for our brains to fully embrace new patterns, now I'm reading it's 66 days. Whichever it is, it can attest to forcing myself to detatch from stbx. After awhile, it started to stick. I finally learned to no longer sit with him on the couch and try unsuccessfully to engage him in conversation. I stopped asking him for anything (because he always promised yes but delivered no). I learned to live as if he were invisible in the house, as best I could. It's helped me survive these 2 years since I first told him I wanted a divorce. It took a lot of conscious effort, and was pretty delibitating to have to do, but it was for my own sake. People become old habits, even people who are bad for us.