Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
The guy I loved and still do, just left me and completely blindsided me. When we met he was getting out of a bad relationship. There were legitimate financial reasons why he could not leave, and I know that relationship was over. For 3 years he was the center of my life. He asked me to marry him not once, but many times. So now he is free and as soon as he moved into his new place, he just left me! I was assuming that once he was on his own we would be working toward a life together. Now I find out ( after I coaxed the information out of him) that he has joined a dating service and has started seeing other people. I'm devastated and feel used. Worse yet, he seems to think i should be happy for him and celebrate his freedom and new life. I know I am better off without him, but our time together was wonderful; I still love him deeply and have had no time to adjust. Apparently he has taken all the time he needed. Thank you, I guess I just needed a shoulder to cry on today.
deleted_user
I'm so sorry milady. it does seem like he used you. It does seem like he was being incredibly selfish. However, he may just not have been ready to be in a relationship when he met you but it still doesn't give him the right to use you. He should have just been on his own for a while after leaving his former relationship before getting into a new one. It seems like he used you as a bridge to his single life. Yes you are better off without someone that uses you, he will most likely do it to someone else since he doesn't seem to have a problem with what he did to you. Just take some time out for yourself, heal and move on. It will get better with time. You deserve to be happy. :)
milady60
Thank you so much for your support, Scorpio80. I agree I was used as a bridge to his single life. I have been trying hard to activate my support system, working out like crazy (endorphins are good). When the wound is fresh, though, sometimes our hearts don't cooperate with our heads very well. Trouble is, I really, really did (and do) love this guy, and we know so many of the same people. I would love to move the hell out of this neighborhood where I can't even socialize anyplace where I haven't been with him, but that means selling my home, which will take awhile. I keep hoping in time it won't hurt so much. I know I am doing the right things for myself, but right at the moment, it's tough. Kindness and support, that that which you have shown me, are helpful, and I am grateful.
deleted_user
Oh you are so welcome! I'm glad to be of any help. I do believe in time it won't hurt so much. You just have to work on you. Working out helped me too after my divorce. I went a bit crazy though, like 2 hours a day, ha ha. I've found yoga helps as well. I found new hobbies after my divorce. I journal too. I pretty much tell everyone who is struggling with someone about how it's so helpful for me to write out all of my feelings. I just let go on my computer or a notebook about any and everything that I"m feeling. Then I go back and read it. I've gone back as far at 2 years, to see how I've changed and how far I've come. I still suffer from a bit of depression from time to time, but I remind myself that healing takes time and it's not good to rush it. I wish you all the best. :)
smileyfacetoo
During his bad relationship struggles, he probably did need you as a support and safety net. You were there for him and helped him through it. That's probably why he asked you to marry him so many times, because he knew you were a good person in his life at the time and he did appreciate all you did for him. However, when circumstances change, sometimes relationships do too. He has obviously been thinking about this for a while, and you just found out. That's why he seems so lighthearted and you are perplexed and feel so blindsided. It's very possible that after a few failed attempts he will have a new perspective on single life. It's like a new toy for him, but one that could quickly break and lose it's shiny luster. Whether he comes back to you or not, you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on. You got this!
milady60
You both nailed it. I have only belonged to this group for one day and already it's been more helpful than anything else. I can't thank you enough.
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