Oh, you are FAR from the only one! I can relate. Big time. I got the same line. He "wasn't feeling it anymore". We tried counseling once, and the whole session was him bashing me. I was also sick and he never stepped up to the plate to help me. Now that I am much better I have clarity he never cared. It hurts so much when one gives and loves and one fails to to follow through on their vows and have your back. But know this: it can't be just one giving 100%. I was that person. And it didn't work. Now we're divorcing. I am only giving him what he wanted in the first place.
You deserve so so so much better. A true husband would be there for you and understanding you.

Thank you. I just don't understand how this happened.... I'm sorry you were sick- I hope you are feeling better. I'm starting to gain some clarity, and I've told him I would move out if we couldn't make it work.... I don't want to be the only one doing the work, but I feel like I have to exhaust all the options before I can walk away... I don't want to look back and wish I had tried something else. But in my heart of hearts, I know how it's going to go. I believe he has already made up his mind and is going to counseling to try to make it not hurt me so much. This just really sucks. Thank you for being here and being so wise. :-)

He may have been afraid to ask you if you were feeling ok, when he began to notice you were less active. I find that most people are quick to make judgements when that don't have all the information at hand and naturally assume the negative. I am curious what his response was when you told him your health issues and if it made a difference in his attitude toward you.

God Bless

I was explaining the disease and side effects and he looked at me and said "oh I just thought you were lazy"....his attitude didn't rly change, I think at that point he had alrdy made a decision. (I have been slowly getting sicker over the course of 8 mths so it's been a long time coming I guess)

I relate to what your saying GingerbreadGirl, I have been diagnosed with depression. I went through a period of feeling very blue and struggling to do anything. My ex just remarked on how "lazy" I was that the house was unkempt (very out of character for me btw) and I hadn't done anything (again extremely out of character). He never noticed something was wrong, decreased appetite, he assumed I was dieting, decreased sex drive he said I was being a frigid bitch, and crying for no reason he told me I was too sensitive. Not once did he ever realize anything was wrong. Now that I've been diagnosed he's sorry, but its my fault for not knowing until now that something was wrong. I'm sorry to vent, I can just relate. My exs attitude hasnt changed either, he's just "sorry". It has to hurt that he would just assume your lazy, rather than that something could be wrong.

I thought I might have been depressed too- a vicious cycle of gaining weight, hating myself etc. turns out autoimmune disease, anemia and a vit D deficiency. I was just so hurt by his words. And the feeling he didn't care enough to notice what bad shape I was in. Thank you for being here with me. Feel free to vent! I'm a good listener. :-)

I also went through a bout with depression about 12 years ago, and even then, my wife was giving me a hard time about it. Like I was making it up. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I got the "not in love with you any more". Speech. Going to a counselor with her on Tuesday, but expect absolutely nothing. I hope you have better luck than I am expecting.

MontgomeryDad, I am so sorry. I know how much it hurts. I will send some positive vibes to you. I am not expecting much good for myself honestly. Mostly believing he's alrdy made his choice and is just humoring me. Good luck.

I feel the same about my situation. She said she's only doing it because I want to go. I mean, why waste everyone's time then? Keep the faith, and I sincerely hope everything works out for the best for you. I've come around to worrying strictly about my two boys. They need my attention now, more than ever. And they're all I have. Lost both parents over the last 3 years, so I have to hold on to what I have tightly with both hands. Too bad my wife likely will be slipping away.

I'm sorry about your situation. Put your focus on your boys. You know they will bring you joy!! We don't have children so when he's gone, I'm alone. My family is a 3 hr plane ride away and while I have friends here, I alrdy feel lonely. It's scary to think I'll have to live alone again and be just me. My heart is just broken.

Sorry to hear about your situation and you're not alone. My spouse told me last Sunday that she wanted to try something else and wasn't "in love" with me anymore -- oh and she wanted to be my friend because she always wanted me in her life no matter what. All the more confusing because she suffers from depression and is in deep depression right now. She doesn't even want to do couples counseling. Hope you and your husband can turn things around. It's difficult when resentment builds up.

G-Girl.... he said those exact things to me too. I think he also suffers from depression.... and I wonder if he is jealous of some of the exciting career changes I have made..... Bottom line, I think things got too "grown up" here, my illness etc... and he wants to bail so he can spend his days drinking and partying like he used to. It just freaking hurts..... Im sorry you're in a similar situation.... Nice to know we aren't alone. I'm really thankful to find this website....and all of you!

GingerbreadGirl Sorry for your situation. You post hits really close to home for me. I have a mix of medical issues from chronic pain to having 15% of normal person's production of melatonin, serotonin, dopamine.... So sleep and depression issues are unavoidable. My wife of ten years said would try counseling, said she cared about my issues etcetera. The last year of marriage due to me not being able to work she got employment and our living circumstances went downhill by having to live in small trailer. While she was giving me the mental reassurance come to find out was cheating on me. Then she bailed and moved in with bf. Point to my story is if your hubby is being so negative towards you in life and in counseling I am afraid that you may be right that he has already given up and what he is doing now is just a ruse. As mentioned in another reply this is the time when you need the support that a good husband should do. I hope for your sake he wakes up and puts in the effort but you also need to be careful and not let love make you have blinders on especially if you illness becomes more challenging. It is great for you to try to take care of the "us" but ultimately you need to take of you. Best wishes and good luck to you from Dragon