Don't give up, you've been doing so good! She's forgotten or not thinking that the kids are going to be affected by what she's doing. Take a minute and remember that you're a good dad and you want your kids to see that part of you. Take time to cry and then wipe those tears. You got this!

Hang in there. Maybe your mediation will clarify things for you two. Either way you go certainty is probably better than this emotional roller coaster....

My heart literally breaks again and again every day. She knows exactly the words to use to break me down. And the fact that after all this time together, after everything I have done for her, after showing her repeatedly how much I love her, that she can still do this is unthinkable. Literally unthinkable. She said she looks at me and all she feels is animosity. No love, I'm always feeling defeated and just out and out depressed. I'm done with feeling like garbage. I am done with feeling worthless. I'm just done with it all,

Yes, you are right. She does know exactly what to say and what will break you down. She has forgotten about the love, that is not what is driving her now. You don't have to feel like garbage, or worthlessness. Minutes ago I found out my husband is in Florida via a friend from FB. But he knows there is 68 cents in our account and refuses to give me anything. I know what feeling worthless is

I totally understand how you feel Jewel, and I'm sorry you're going through this. My wife has changed her mind about ten times on whether she would care if I was seeing someone else, and is convinced I already am. I do have a woman who is interested in me, but she knows I may not be even close to ready, as I am still unsure about my wife. Apparently, my wife is certain she's done with me, so I feel like a complete idiot for even still trying to fight. She's asked me repeatedly why I choose to fight for her, and she has told me multiple times she's not with getting upset over. I tell her she's that important to me. She doesn't believe me.

Hang in there MontgomeryDad. My wife does the same thing repeatedly in making me feel miserable. The last time she said "f you" I realized I'm better off alone than with someone who talks to me like that. It's not easy but its better than being made to feel worthless. Stay strong.

She also has a real condescending tone when she speaks to me. Today she said, "I know you're always upset" but said it in a way that was so f'ing demeaning. So I actually said "F you" to her, as she meant it in a way to say that it's ridiculous that I'm upset. And mediation is going to be a big waste of time, I fear. Told her I will not agree to anything without 50% custody, and she keeps telling me that's unrealistic. And then she started listing things off that she feels are wrong with me. Just can't stand it when she does that. Can't stand anything any more. More depressed than I have ever been. Tired of feeling so down all of the time and her simply not caring.,

Hang in there for the kids. Been going thru a similar situation with my wife. We have 2 boys. I found out she was cheating on me at the beginning of the summer. She has had less and less involvement with the kids and it has been tough on them. Whole thing has been pathetic. It is a tough mountain to climb. It will take time. I have my tough days too.

I'm living similar to honest1. Its almost like I am a single parent to my 8 and 10 yr old. I'd rather have it this way so much more than if I was not able to see them every day. There is nothing more important in life than family. Unfortunately some spouses don't agree and end up becoming your enemy. My wife could not handle the stress of being a mother and wife and homemaker so she quit. My kids seem to not be terribly affected. Their mom was always distant to begin with. You can't predict this behaviour in your spouse. As life progresses and changes, it's like some cannot or will not adapt and choose to just get up and leave, as if that is an option. This kind of abandonment has terrible repercussions on the other family members. But that suffering by others is suppressed or ignored and selfishness becomes their new personality trait.

Could not agree more about the selfishness. That is all it has been about since I found out.. it's never been about the kids with her which is sad. She doesn't attend their extra curricular activities. They are at a point that they don't even want to talk to her on the phone.

my husband was the same to me.. until I took our kids and left. It took him a short 2 weeks to realize how wrong he was.. but the damage was done, and I did not take him back. That was 2 years ago, he's married to his whore that he cheated on me with now, and its been a very long and painful road.. but it DOES get better. there is nothing wrong with wanting to fight for your marriage - but it takes TWO, and if she's not willing to put in the effort, its time to take a step back and think about your needs, and the kids' needs.. I think the hardest part is trying to think clearly about your future needs while hurting so much you can't breathe..

its a horrible feeling to realize the person you loved, is now the enemy and someone you need to protect yourself from.. but your children and YOU are worth fighting for - if you're able to step away from her abusive ways.. maybe stay with family/friends for a few days? and try to do whats best for yourself and your children.. I'm so sorry your going through this.. but remember you're not alone.

So sorry MD. I know it hurts but you are doing a great job. Please hang in there and know that something is better on the other side.

It can be one of the most difficult things in the world to go through. I have experienced a couple of times. When one person gives up, the best thing you can do is everything you can to work towards a happier life for you. I followed my second wife across country giving up one of the best career opportunities of a lifetime. She was not happy in our relationship and never would be. I wasted so much time trying to make it work. My advice is to be the best parent you can for your children and give up totally on what you can't have. I have witnessed people that can be very adult and mature about a break up and the kids are better for it. If you can find it in yourself and I know you would have to dig hard, but become friends only with you soon to be ex. Start thinking about what a good life for yourself will look like without her. There is always another person that wants to be with you. Trust me on this one. Don't look at her as your spouse anymore, look at her as a friend. Don't try to fix what is gone. I have several ex girlfriends that have become such good friends for life. And actually its kinda nice. But more over I can say without a doubt my kids that are now grown where better off when we divorced. My relationship with my kids is so much stronger than I ever thought it would be. Children suffer when they see parents suffer. You need to show them a strong parent that can endure life's challenges and prosper in spite of what life throws at you. Then there is this, I will never forget when I was suffering really bad and my best friend said MAN UP! I am sure you get it. I hope in some way something I have said here helps.

sorry u are going thru tough times hang in there everything passes with time

Listen, I just got served divorce papers and my husband seems unaffected by anything. He's the love of my life and now he is nearly unrecognizable. Your spouse knows your pressure points and will use them against you. Everybody has timeframes and you will know when enough is enough. There is a saying," the tables always turn. " When you remove power from the situation's, however long that takes for you, then you will receive some relief. Truth is if she is meant for you it will be, but you have to see your worth and not allow everything. Until you learn how to love and respect yourself, no one else will. Just encouragement.