I'd like an answer to this too. I was married 32 years. Cut off, as it were, 5 weeks ago on Sunday.
He has her, I have no one. And yep. I miss the sex. But do I miss it with my husband? Or plain miss it? We did have a healthy sex life. So all around I am suffering and he isn't.
I'm with you...I hate him.

I am new to all this just two weeks ago he left and I may be a prude but I think sex with another person should not happen until you have grieved. I think it could have bad consequences, something someone told me don't think about him. Think about you. I don't think about him, won't think about him. If my brain starts to do it, I just think something else say knock it off. I am working on not caring what he is doing. It is tough.I hope I didn't offend.

i wish i knew. My husband is now living with OW, I refused to take him back, I filed for divorce but yes I know I am jealous. Your ex is rubbing salt in the wounds.Mine did everything to hurt me AFTER we split. I guess we will both have to deal with the hurt and pain untill that magical day when it disappears. No it will not or is not easy but scum like our ex's don't deserve us feeling this way. Your right don't throw yourself at just anyone and give yourself time to heal.Don't lower yourself to his standards.Hang in there with me....

Best advice I recieved here on DS when my cheating Ex-wife left me was "the best way to get over a woman is to get over another one.

it worked for me pretty well.

thank you Michelle. you know who you are xx

hope I didn't offend too.

hairymick...good advice, mate! I will remember that one. PinkA...I'm sure it will work out for you.

How I've done it is to accept it. I can't do anything about the fact that my STBX has someone warm next to her in the bed and gets to have a sex life. I'm just trying to accept that it will happen in it's due time. Yes, I hope it's damn soon because I'm horny and lonely. But I won't give her that power over me. Our exes and STBXs have what power over us that we give them.
You might feel like you're getting the short end of the stick,and in some ways you are, but when your kids move out and are on their own who do you think they will love and respect more? The mother who stayed with them, or the father who was a part timer who made life harder for their mother.
My mother went through this, and I watched how hard it was for her, but over time she got back out there and learned who she was and is now very happily married to the best guy I could have imagined.
I'm not trying to sound wiser than I am, or like anything other than a guy saying what he has seen. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time and my thoughts are with you. Try to remember that it is the hard times that make us appreciate the good times, and that if you keep moving forward you will find those good times.

it is always hard when someone leaves that way. my ex started talking to a women that lives in vegas and we live in colorado. he has gone there twice now and tells me that she is the one and talking about getting married to here. we have only been broken up for two months now and even durning that time we were still having sex. and she is older 36 and he says that she has her life togther and makes him so happy. what i dont get is that they only talk on text or the phone and spent time the two times he went to vegas. but it makes me feel like there is nothing good for me to other. i dont see how he can tell me how he loves me and im the greatest person to him finding the one and its not me. all he tells me is i need to fix my self before i can be with anyone and i need to be happy for him

Hi,

Is it that you're feeling lonely or do you really need the sex? I don't think that just having sex is going to make you feel better. It sounds like you just want to make sure he knows that you're having sex too and it doesn't bother you that he does. I don't think bed hopping is going to serve you well and your kids. I surely wouldn't introduce a new person to my kids until I knew that the relationship was going somewhere beyond the bedroom. Yes you may get your kicks for a while but isn't it better to work on you for a while and figure out what life has to offer? Don't get me wrong. Sex with the right person is amazing. There's nothing else llike it on earth.

He maybe living it up right now but in time he'll be feeling sad and lonely. He may even be feeling that way now but making sure that you are also. Sex is a poor substitute for love. Anyone can have sex. Myself, I would rather find someone special and learn about them before jumping them just so I can keep up with my ex. Just some thoughts. Only you know what's right for you. I hope you don't do something to dammage yourself or kids more. And I'm not trying to judge you. I'm just trying to offer a different way to go.
Hugs,
John

WOW.. Reading all these posts lets me kinda look at things differently. When my ex left me I started a relationship immediately, it was a very dumb decision, I used that poor man to make myself feel better. The fact still remains that when two people climb into bed together someone comes out with feelings, unfortunately it was the man I used. My ex and I have been divorced for 2 years & I have shared that I continued to sleep with him too, that was wrong to, cause I never allowed myself time to grieve the relationship, had another innocent person involved, and it did nothing but hurt all of us.
A wise woman once said to me "the longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself, nurture that relationship" and once you are alright with the relationship with you than you will find someone and know what you want, and expect from the relationship.
I think that when we jump in the sack with someone so soon after the break up we are looking for the absence of pain. But the pain still needs to be dealt with otherwise you carry it with you, I know I have. Now I am on a crusade to take care of me!
As for your ex telling you about his affairs with the woman, I would simply say "I am not interested in hearing about your relationship with her" it's a way of keeping you on a string. & fact is he is the children's father, I would say make a date for maybe a girls night out, and let him be the sitter for once. It don't mean you have to go have sex with someone but it would put him back in his place.
Sounds kinda EVIL but I would get dressed up in front of him, even if I was going to Walmart, to let him feel the uncomfort & jealousy for once.

OMG I can't imagine being sexual now...and that really really scares me...it has been nearly two years now and I feel nothing and I mean NOTHING...sexually I think I am numb and done...

SO sorry for you Pink. Maybe you will get your laugh, when she dumps his ass for someone more handsome, and closer to her age. HA HA.

He's trying to make you feel horrible, and you don't look fat or ugly!

When he makes fun of you, just laugh at him. He's trying to push your buttons, and MAKE YOU JEALOUS! ( Ooooo, jealousy is the hardest feeling to deal with, IMFO. )

PLUS, your ex is so stupid, because we women are in the prime of our sexual life in our late 30's to ??? :)

Stay true to yourself! HUGS!