Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Pereca 04/23/2018

I read some of the post and I saw that many are from females. But for us guys? It's a different story. I aplaud all you guys who wrote a post. We try to be strong but we are as emotional as any other woman. I lost my wife after 15 years of marriage. It's been two years since our divorced and I still love her too death. But at the same time, let me tell you the truth. I had a lot to do for the divorced. We as man sometimes just don't know how to show our emotions and our marriages become rutine. Maybe we can support each other by not sharing our hurts but by, where did we go wrong. I know that this doesn't apply to all. But for those who does apply, lets talk about it. I screwed up my marriage. Not intentionally but out of ignorance. Hope this will help all of us get the healing we are seeking for.

finallyawakenow 04/24/2018

Thanks for this message. I joined ds about six weeks ago. (Sexless marriage at first.) Mostly because it was the site I opened to and the posts were ones I rellated with. It was the first time I had ever been online; very naive in this dept. I had a sudden awakening seven months ago that opened my eyes to myself and the way my marriage has ‘evolved’ over the years. Devolved is more accurate. While we love eachother very much we had not learned how to communicate our needs. This created a distance between us that we have finally,after 25 years, overcome. At least the healing has begun in anycase. It feels great, however now that we are more open to talking, we are discovering how codependent we have become. We have also created a push/pull relationship where I do all the pulling. Recognizing this behavior has freed me of the constant anxiety I have felt our entire marriage. She has struggled with commitment since we began. And I have been chasing after her. It’s been exhausting! The only way forward that we can see is for us both to find joy outside our marriage, live our own life as best we can and see how we still fit together. The biggest obstacle for me was to let her go completely. I am working on it every day because I need to admit to myself that we might not be able to work things out. Neither one of us wants to be alone but she may need to experience that for herself. She has been thinking about it for years and developed that mindset. It may be impossible for her to break that thought pattern. We have been living in limbo because of it. It’s very difficult for me because I know now what a healthy relationship means because of the deep soul searching I have done and all the research on self fulfillment and strong marriages. And I understand that if she can’t overcome her issues and give our marriage a real commitment then we will have to seriously adjust our relationship. She had a long term affair years ago so that’s out of her system but we did marry young and we never really have known anything different than married life (with two kids; twentys now. I’m actually looking forward to having my son begin his own life too so that we can actually be alone.) However this possible intimacy makes her nervous because she senses that she may not be able to give me what I need, at least not yet. I’m patient and we have decided to be kind and supportive no matter what happens down the road. Just learning to be kind to eachother and understanding has been refreshing. But I got way off track. I embrace my emotions now, when I used to hide from them. Loving myself again has given me the confidence to see my flaws and deal with them openly. This has helped me to not let my emotions run my life like they used to. I keep hoping that I have become aware in time to save the marriage, but it may be too hard for her to reconnect. I just don’t know yet. I do know that her seeing me finding peace in myself has changed how she sees me and I feel her showing her vulnerable side which she has never done. I am a very kind and attentive husband but I admit that I took our marriage for granted. Although she has too. I’m actually excited to see where this new path takes us, because where ever it leads, I will never let it go back to the way it was. I feel my lost self confidence returning. Again, thanks for opening this discussion and I hope my imput wasn’t too long. I think I have learned alot and I may be able to help some avoid my mistakes, or at least help to understand them.

shouldiorshouldnti 04/24/2018

I really relate to what you shared. It was powerful because of your vulneravility. Thanks for sharing.

light_my_way 04/26/2018

My boyfriend has determined he's emotionally unavailable after I raised concerns in the relationship. He then broke up with me and said he is not able to give me more at this time. He works long hours, has a long commute & has his teenage kids half the time so I get he has a full plate but he let go of me & a great relationship. Other than me wanting him to open his heart more to me, I had zero complaints. I will never understand why he'd rather push me away than face his demons. I applaud you for reflecting where you went wrong and taking accountability. I can only hope my ex-bf does the same and realizes someday what he threw away.

Jke1 04/26/2018

Is there any hope?

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