I was with my first husband 20 years. My second only 4. Those things ache, no doubt. But it got easier with my first husband. I'm hopeful it will with the second. It just takes time to build up a new past to have things to think about.

We weren't married but he had given me a ring with three stones, normally that represents your past present and future. I gave it back to him and told him to give it to her as it now represented lying cheating and stealing. I wonder if he gave it to her or sold it.

I miss the future I thought I was going to have.

I have been married almost 22 years, and I completely understand. I just want to wake up more morning without him being the first thought of the day. Today, I heard our wedding song. Little things like that seem to set me back.

I, too, miss the future we had planned together. I thought we would watch our children grow up, get married and have babies. It is really difficult to wrap your head around the fact that won't happen.

Hugs to you!

i have "phantom ring syndrome." like how amputees say that sometimes they "feel" their missing limb. my wedding ring was a little loose, but i hadn't had it resized because my hands swell sometimes when i work really long shifts (as i often do). so about a million times a day, i swear i "feel" my wedding ring shifting on my ring finger. i reach down, as i always did, to adjust it, and it's not there. i chose to take it off because it makes me sadder to wear it. but it is weird to "feel" it there when i have had it off for 3 weeks now. i too look at sweet older couples, my parents included, they celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary last summer, and i get so sad. i thought stbx and i would grow old together, hand in hand, side by side. i hope this gets easier for us all as time goes by. hugs to you jaclyn.

"I miss the future I thought I was going to have." This is the hardest part, getting used to something so different than it was for years, the change of thought patterns, of dreams. But you are free to have new dreams, and new goals. You can still be part of that old couple walking hand in hand someday, it'll just be with someone different.

And just because you see an older couple walking hand in hand doesn't mean its not each of their 2nd marriage, or 3rd marriage, or that they aren't married, or that they are married to someone else ;-) Or even that they have been married 50 years and hate each others guts and one of them smothers the other with a pillow that night, lol.

oh, I know. I could still have that with someone different. I feel so broken. I'm not sure it's worth the trouble to even try again. I just. I don't even know.

my heart goes out to you, jaclyn. if you ever need to talk you can shoot me a pm. i wasn't with my husband nearly as long as you were, but we are both mourning and grieving. it's very hard to let go. all i can recommend is baby steps. i am very slowly learning to let go, but it's been unbearably painful. it will be painful to look at these things for a long time, but time also brings healing.
abby

Over time, these things will not affect you as they do now.

Whether it's love songs, movies, pictures, couples, jewelry...etc.

Thanks all. It aggravates the crap out of me. LOL

I think that's one of the toughest part. We are mourning the future we pictured with this person, even if the relationship was in trouble. We have to remember that with time we will have a future, but with someone else.