Good question. My wife's 40th birthday is coming soon and was wondering if I should wish her a happy birthday or not. I guess it depends on the situation, whether you guys are civil or not.

if your serving up your self-esteem as her gift then yes. Why would you want her to know your thinking of her while she's celebrating the day with someone else? I made the same mistake when my husband left me for his floozy and I felt so stupid afterwards. Don't out yourself out there emotionally for someone who no longer wants you.

no no no no

maintain No Contact
You have been betrayed and abandoned ....and a happy Birthday is not even wanted from you

walk away

I agree, don't do it. I almost did that for New Years eve and we had been separated only 2 months. I didn't bother, she's not worth it!

I think it depends on the situation and how much time has passed. If it's a relatively fresh break and if you are trying to maintain NC, don't do it. It will set you back. My ex husband and I text happy birthday, merry Christmas, happy easter, etc. My devistating breakup with the ex boyfriend after him I wouldn't even offer sympathy if he lost a limb. One breakup was civil, one wasn't. I would suggest you don't do it, only because it sounds like you are still really struggling. Don't use it as an excuse to contact her.

no.

nope

Nah don't do it. Especially if your ex is not interested.

I wouldn't say anything to her

Yes I am still struggling and thanks all for advice. Second week after breakup I thought I was going to recover and heal quickly. I Didn't expect to be still struggling after 7 weeks.

Not sure how long u were together but 7 weeks is a drop in the bucket. I struggled too with bday and holidays but figured she dumped me so I didn't mention Christmas or thanskgiving and it was hard. I did wish her a happy bday cause our daughter was heading over to see her but in hindsight I wouldn't have and I won't do it again. I wanted to appear civil for our daughter but she's 18 now so it's really not necessary to risk my well being to give my ex an ego boost. I've really learned it's better to let her live without me and my well wishes. It was her choice.

I forwarded bday message from my stbx's cousin, took our son to buy his dad a gift. But reminded myself that he didn't get me a mothers day card, for some reason decided I wasn't his mom and apparently the mother of his three children didn't matter, no card to bday or 25 yr anniversary. Figured he was probably getting enough from his friends..
I say don't torture yourself or waste time on someone who doesn't care about you!

sadbuttrue
You say 7 weeks and still struggling
1 1/2 years later I still struggle

Kindness is not a bad thing. It may serve to show yourself you are rising above your situation. I challenge you to extend this kindness but do so without any agenda attached. God bless.

Kindness is not a bad thing at all, just don't hurt yourself. If you do it but wait all day checking your phone for a response and feeling low when one comes that's very short or no response at all makes u sad then don't send one. Almost a year had passed after my split when I texted my ex Happy Bday and we have grown kids together so it was more of a gesture to keep some peace for the kids sakes since my daughter was going over there..you just don't want to hurt yourself with false expectations. Usually you should let a lot of time pass before even attempting friendly convos. If you still have feelings for er than don't even bother.