Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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It's going to get better....?

NeoSoul
NeoSoul

Hi friends..I'm just here to rant because it has been a particularly rough week. He says that if I loved him, I would let go of these things that are important to me and I would put him first. I have always put a lot of value on loyalty. I don't want to leave...but I also don't want to be inauthentic...The struggle has me feeling very hopeless and I don't see a way out. I'm just praying for the strength to get better. I hate this. I care about him so deeply...but the reality is that we have both changed in pretty substantial ways since we joined our lives together. I want a way out; I'm not a sad person! Feeling stuck is not a typical feeling for me..My job has generally been to help others get unstuck..Being the one that is needing so much support is new to me. It's going...to...get...better.. Maybe? :)

Dandelion
Dandelion
Wow, I'd say if hes being really emotionally manipulative.

He doesn't seem to respect your wishes much.

I think you're stuck and conflicted because youre hoping for an easier softer way than the obvious, which is to let him go.

Even if you did succumb to his wishes this time, this issue would just keep coming up.

You'll feel a lot of relief I think when you do the right thing by yourself
mindfulalacrity
mindfulalacrity
IMHO.....it might be time to step back and at a basic level evaluate how each of you complement or conflict with each other. I do think its fine to have differences, but ultimately there needs to be a certain level of respect and a decent amount of fun associated with being together. I recommend you take a look at Rilke....a very different more wholeistic view of relationships.

If neither of you are destructive and there isn't too much fall out from your history together.....you shouldn't be in a rush to leave. Listen and let things sink in before deciding that things must end yet you don't have a concrete reason for why things should end.
bees2000
bees2000
I some what agree with mindful. You know there is conflict every where and in every relationship. There is no such thing as a prefect relationship. It sounds like you two are throwing the baby out with the bath water. Good book - "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.". Be kind to each other. A movie, " The War Room.". Good Luck. I pray it gets better. You are still together for now, yea!!!
Maiya
Maiya
Sending hugs. I understand where you're coming from, it's so hard doing the right thing by everyone.

I'm not in a position to offer advice, all I can tell you is, find yourself first before giving your all to someone you may not want to be with.

Giving up the things that are important to you makes you you, take that away and he may as well start over with someone else.

Don't be pressured into doing the right thing just because you're married, do it because you want to
monnieloves
monnieloves
Relationships have the power of being sweet and sour at the same time. Don't be so hard on yourself. Even those who help sometimes need be helped. Situations usually work themselves our eventually. Keep on praying. It works.