My wife of 10 years had an affair with her ex fiancé. We have since discovered she has been unhappy for years, mainly bc of my poor communication, keeping things inside, stress, among other things.

We make a great team and I know I can change, but worry it's too late. We are cordial and still have love for each other, but she thinks this separation and therapy will bring us some much needed clarity. During separation, we can date/see other people, which I am not a fan of as I've only been with 2 women in my life and don't know the right way to meet someone new. However, I am seeking bc we do want to save the marriage and I guess deep down this could help me.

It just sucks bc I have so much love to give her, but my stress and stubbornness got the best of me. I also think that we took each other for granted after kids were born. We became more parents than wife/husband.

We are so good together when it's good and we are great parents to our young girls. She encourages me that this could potentially strengthen the relationship, which I have heard can happen. Few things I'm concerned about at this time:

Am I strong enough to get through this, whether reconcile or divorce? Bc now I am a mess. I think about it all the time, I can't eat, barely sleep, crying at least once a day.

How do I get through it if we do divorce?

Will I ever meet someone again? (Late 30s, athletic, nice, good heart)

Also, could she be having a midlife crisis at mid 30s??? Maybe she is reading too much into affair and it was just a poor lapse in judgment?

Sorry for the rambling. I don't know what to do and my mind is going a mile a minute.