Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I had one of those days. For whatever reason, I spend my whole day reflecting on my 9 months of separation from my wife of 22 years who cheated on me and wants to live a fetish lifestyle with other men, multiple men. Then it went into how I lost my mother to lung disease 6 weeks ago. Then it went to how I lost my father last week. I can't help but feel empty inside. Like a shell with no emotions, no happiness, no joy and its hard to even smile these days. When does the pain subside?
I wish I could run away from it all. I need a vacation. I miss the beaches and the mountains of New England. I wanna go home and take my kids back home, but I feel trapped in this damn city with no money to go back home. It only makes it worse when my wife stops by to see the kids so that she can ease her pain of loneliness. I want to tell her never to come back again, but my heart still loves her. Why do I still love a woman who can do that to me and the kids?
I wonder, if I won the lottery and bacame an instant millionaire, would that make a difference in my life? I have to daydream in order to feel normal again. The toughest part of all of this, is dealing with the thoughts. Every single day, the thoughts bombard my mind - the guestion of "what if...how come...if only...I wish..." and then the images I get of her and her fetish friends and what they are doing...ahhhhh. See!? I did it again.
I gotta go to bed. I know this is wrong, but I'm not looking forward to getting only 2 hours of sleep just to wake up and do this again.
Married 23 years, wife cheating with one of my kids coaches & went off the deep end into fucked up lifestyle.
It messed up my kids, it messed me up myself and so much more watching what it was doing to them
My kids will always carry it ...but that's just it, carrying it means they aren't crushed by it and that as they mature they understand that only their choices and actions define them ( still
Will hurt )
You have no choice, as a father you must do the same, your kids will be so mush better off seeing you enjoy a blue sky day even if its for only a few moments
It takes a long fucking time for you ( any person) to let the sun break through, just don't fight it, let the sun break through
I was married 26 years and to be in those long marriages and for it to not work out, is difficult to accept. You've invested so much time and energy and because of someone else's actions and decisions you're life and the lives of your children have changed. Was it the life you dreamed of?? Mine wasn't, but I stayed and I was pleasant and happy because that's what a decent person does. I made a commitment and while my ex was caught cheating 3 times in 24 years, for the most part, daily life was pretty good...not what I dreamed, but pretty good. He didn't abuse me and we most days we had fun. I didn't feel love for him like I thought I should, but most of my friends felt the same for their husbands, so I thought, well, this is just how life is. So you just accept that this is life, so...don't worry, be happy....right???
But your spouse doesn't hold up their end of the deal made when you got married. So what are you to do?? Your wife has fetish issues and her choices have changed your life without your permission. These spouses are selfish human beings. It is all about what they want. They don't care who gets hurt as long as they get their way. They're like bratty children, really.
We're so much better off without them, but it doesn't erase the scars they leave behind. To realize we're better off without them, doesn't take away our emotional pain. The pain that comes from such betrayal. And then to see what their actions have done to our kids, is even more traumatic.
You're the good parent, you're taking care of your kids. How old are they?
I hope you're getting counseling. Have you tried divorcecare.org ?
Hang in there. We all know your pain.
I just want to lay in bed all the time. I don't sleep, but I don't want to get up and face the world. People don't have a clue what's going on inside, they can't. I know this will get better, but it will take time (lots of time!!). But no matter how much I struggle, I will NEVER give him another chance. That ship has SUNK!
I hope you have better days to come! Sorry for your pain!