Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Only a few days ago I was happy. I thought *we* were happy. We were planning and saving money for our 10th anniversary next year, even inviting other people to join us on the trip (to Walt Disney World which was where we'd gone on our honeymoon). I had no clue that all of that was just not true...the only unusual thing was that he'd started exercising the few weeks right before but he'd always been into and out of things that caught his interest. I was happy, he was not. We got home from work and he asked me to sit down, then told me he wanted a divorce. I wish he'd literally stabbed me in heart so I could have died on the spot, it would have been kinder and hurt a lot less.
I spent the next two hours screaming and crying incoherently, trying to make sense of...anything. My entire world had just been shattered into bloody pieces and he seemed so....cool and distant, barely even looking at me, emotionless. He wouldn't say why, only that he wasn't in love with me anymore, that he'd been feeling that way for years. Best emmy for acting, and you fooled everyone. When pressed over and over he finally said there was someone else he had fallen for but that they hadn't done anything, not even kissed. We both work with her, and she apparently went home that same night to tell her boyfriend she wanted to break up.
When I said I wished we'd been in a car accident on the way home so I would never have had to hear that and just died in happy ignorance he called a friend of mine over. Once she got there he packed and just left without a word. He'd already arranged to stay with a mutual friend.
I only found out later that I was in fact the *6th* person to be told that he wanted a divorce which just further devastated me. I've spent a lot of time since then trying to understand, a lot of time crying. I've had friends freaking out and trying to convince me not to do anything drastic but just to hang on, keep breathing, keep talking to them.
And I'm trying, I really am. I don't want to...overburden my friends with my grief. I don't want to obsess over it too much with them, I don't want to see the pity in their eyes and have them start to turn away because I can't stop talking about it.
Because I do still *need* to talk about it. It's the most awful thing that's ever happened to me. And that includes my mom killing herself a few years ago, not that that wasn't devastating because it was and I'm still working through that. Mom had always been depressed though for years so while it was still horrid to go through it wasn't entirely a surprise either.
I just feel...like I can't breathe. Nothing makes sense any more. I don't know how to...trust anything, anyone. Not even myself. Maybe especially myself.
I spent the next two hours screaming and crying incoherently, trying to make sense of...anything. My entire world had just been shattered into bloody pieces and he seemed so....cool and distant, barely even looking at me, emotionless. He wouldn't say why, only that he wasn't in love with me anymore, that he'd been feeling that way for years. Best emmy for acting, and you fooled everyone. When pressed over and over he finally said there was someone else he had fallen for but that they hadn't done anything, not even kissed. We both work with her, and she apparently went home that same night to tell her boyfriend she wanted to break up.
When I said I wished we'd been in a car accident on the way home so I would never have had to hear that and just died in happy ignorance he called a friend of mine over. Once she got there he packed and just left without a word. He'd already arranged to stay with a mutual friend.
I only found out later that I was in fact the *6th* person to be told that he wanted a divorce which just further devastated me. I've spent a lot of time since then trying to understand, a lot of time crying. I've had friends freaking out and trying to convince me not to do anything drastic but just to hang on, keep breathing, keep talking to them.
And I'm trying, I really am. I don't want to...overburden my friends with my grief. I don't want to obsess over it too much with them, I don't want to see the pity in their eyes and have them start to turn away because I can't stop talking about it.
Because I do still *need* to talk about it. It's the most awful thing that's ever happened to me. And that includes my mom killing herself a few years ago, not that that wasn't devastating because it was and I'm still working through that. Mom had always been depressed though for years so while it was still horrid to go through it wasn't entirely a surprise either.
I just feel...like I can't breathe. Nothing makes sense any more. I don't know how to...trust anything, anyone. Not even myself. Maybe especially myself.
It was/is an interesting and enlightening exercise. I've found that you never know how you really touched someone else's life unless they let you know. I had one guy tell me that he had been inspired by my fearlessness in leaving everything and moving across the country for love, and that my example gave him the courage to do the same thing. He got married last year to the wonderful gentlemen he'd moved for and it made me so happy to know that I had even the smallest part in that happiness.
Actually, I think I'm going to go toss some of those affirmations in my journal so I'll read them more often. Never hurts to have the positive drowning out the negative.
Your husband is a tool, anyone can see that you are at worst a normal caring person and more likely you are a giver, you probalbley take the burnt hotdog if 5 are cooked for 2 people, it is easy to for you tob e taken for granted as niceness is easy to overlook.
Don't change, suffer through this, in time a good someone won't overlook or take you for granted. the world sorely lacks soft gentle people. thank God for you