Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Is this hope?

STex
STex

So we are still living under the same roof and it has been difficult trying to keep things upbeat, but I AM TRYING. This morning I asked if she thought she was going to ever want to work on"us" and she said she could not answer that. I asked if she wanted me to move out, she said no, but this is not how she wanted to start her day. While out on her morning run she sent me this text.


"I am sorry for this morning...can we please just take this one step at a time and right now just try to be happy in the house? It took a long time to reach this place and it cannot change overnight. I will do better about my communication with you...I do love and care about you very much even though you think I don't. I am sorry that it seems that I am being selfish right now...I will work on that as well. I know you are working you too and that makes me happy"


Why didn't I try to work on this sooner? Why did I let my depression destroy everything? I am so scared I will end up with nothing good in my life.

STex
STex
I was not the best I could be in my depression and alcohol abuse, but she had control over her feelings, I did not make that happen. I will not be made to feel guilty about that any longer. I have been a faithful and loving husband most of our 25 yrs. I hit a bad patch, a 3 yr bad patch, but not a reason to cheat. I appreciate everyone's honesty, our friends tell us what they think we want to hear, sometimes we need what we don't want to hear. Cheers and peace to you all
kbbcoop77
kbbcoop77
Yeah I know it's not what you want to hear as I've been there myself over 2+ years ago now..but it was this site and some "tough love" type advice from others who've been through this that helped me see what was happening ..it's very difficult when it happens, the worst thing I've ever been through but I survived it. I'm just saying what happened in my situation and I see ALOT of similarities here. My ex wife admitted to me when she finally pulled the trigger she had thought about it for 2 years. I was completely surprised but looking back now there were signs that I didn't see, as 24 years together I didn't think it was possible. If your marriage is salvageable that's great but again if she's checked out and if she is cheating physically or emotionally then I think she's planning a soft landing for herself after she bails. It sucks but just be cognizant of what's happening and take care of yourself and your son.
Millergirl
Millergirl
That does sound like hope for sure. She affirmed her love, and that she is working on things. Be patient. Live in the moment and take advantage of what you have now, in this moment and be grateful. It is amazing how that changes perspective. You don't have to solve everything right now.
STex
STex
Millergirl, I moved out a week ago, three weeks of silence or talking about the weather was killing me. Might have been the wrong thing to do but I cant change that now. We are still communicating about trivial things, we have a business, a house we are trying to sell and our 17 year old son. The pain is unbearable and the loneliness is debilitating.I am trying to just take it minute by minute right now. I don't know what our story is going to be.