I try not to think like that!

For some reason, I find that I cannot listen to music at all. I get very irritated by it. Every song seems to trigger something that triggers memories. It is annoying.

Let's not go down that path.

" For some reason, I find that I cannot listen to music at all. I get very irritated by it. Every song seems to trigger something that triggers memories. It is annoying."

Yup, same here.

you were reading my mind when you created this post. I have to go with Jimmy Sinner on the mainland
He's a sinner on the sea
He looks for absolution
Not accountability
How many destinations
Oh God he's seen them all
He collects his precious pittance
Never a port of call

Remittance Man
Black sheep of the family clan
Broke too many rules along the way
Remittance Man
So far away from home
No they'll never understand
The Remittance Man

A man of empty pockets
From jingling his change
The idleness and grieving
For all that he retains
By the harbour lights of Sydney
Or the Bora Bora moon
He recites his sad confession
To the seagulls and the loons

Remittance Man
Black sheep of the family clan
Broke too many rules along the way
Remittance Man
So far away from home
No they'll never understand
The Remittance Man

Well you can claim that you were born a prince
But you're the only one you can convince
Survivor with no livelihood
That you could ever make it good
But still you dream of what you can pretend

An unexpected passenger
Boarded in Marseilles
An angel full of tenderness
She gave her heart away
She was but a gypsy
He was just a stray
They almost made a miracle but it slowly slipped away
So he follows the equator
With a wish to run aground
It's a very vicious circle
Goin' round and round and round
And he watches from the fantail
As the mainland disappears
Just like the Flying Dutchman
He's a prisoner of his fears

Remittance Man
Black sheep of the family clan
Broke too many rules along the way
Remittance Man
So far away from home
No they'll never understand
No they'll never understand
No they'll never understand
The Remittance Man
Buffett, "Remittance Man"

" For some reason, I find that I cannot listen to music at all. I get very irritated by it. Every song seems to trigger something that triggers memories. It is annoying."

Yup, same here. "

Me too!!!

I have not had the radio on (and tv rarely) since I got the papers in the mail 5/16. I do not want to hear songs to make me sad - and there are so many. I do still have the same ringtone for him - and when he calls 2-3 times a day I hear it, but can't bring myself to change it - it is Faith Hill's "It's your love..." Makes me cry to think about it!!

This girl reminds is me. Where I am right now.

Lyrics to ..........The One
Gary Allen


No rush though I need your touch

I won't rush your heart

Until you feel on solid ground

Until your strength is found, girl



I'll fill those canyons in your soul

Like a River lead you home

And I'll walk a step behind



In the shadows so you shine

Just ask it will be done

And I will prove my love

Until you're sure that I'm "The One"



Somebody else was here before

He treated you unkind

And broken wings need time to heal

Before a heart can fly, girl



I'll fill those canyons in your soul

Like a river lead you home

And I'll walk a step behind



In the shadows so you shine

Just ask it will be done

And I will prove my love

Until you're sure that I'm "The One"



Trust in me and you'll find a heart so true

All I want to do is give the best of me to you

And stand beside you



Just ask it will be done, and I will prove my love

Until you're sure that I'm "The One"



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcrJbFUSOX0

There's 2 particular Evanescence songs that just, well it's like they just took my life and wrote a song about it...they are My Immortal and Wake Me Up Inside.


"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Evanessence Bring me to Life lyrics


(featuring Paul McCoy)

How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside
(Bring me to life)


I love music and what I listen to is often a reflection of what I'm feeling, going through, what kind of day I'm having. However, it's just now getting to the point where I can listen to songs that used to remind me of my husband and am finally able to listen to it as a normal song. This tells me that I'm starting to heal. I find that music is a great outlet.

Kimmee sent this song to me ... Thanks Kimmee... It still makes me tear up... *happy tears*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLB96GzlWio
Survivor

(Verse 1)

Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer,
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder,
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiser,
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter,
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,
Sold nine million.

[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

(Verse 2)
Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm inhalin'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
Perfect vision,
You thought I couldn't last without ya,
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without ya,
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without ya,
But I'm on top,
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still gon' be here.

(Bridge)
I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity,
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma told me better than that.

[Chorus]

After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity.

[Chorus]

****************************************************************
(The only thing is my momma never told me I can't diss him on the Internet...)

Comfortably Numb... P. Floyd :)

"Perfect" by the Smashing Pumpkins. That song was getting airplay around the time we split.

There was this song out about 5 years ago called "stay Gone" I think it was written by Jimmy Wayne the chorus goes

Baby baby stay
stay right where you are
I like it this way
It's good for my heart
when we try to make things work we both end up hurt
so Baby baby stay stay right where you are.

This song should have been the theme song for our marriage.

Here's mine by George Strait:

He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye.
Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night.
But he had no idea, when he hit the road,
That without him in her life, she'd let herself go.

Let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.

She poured her heart an' soul into their three-bedroom ranch.
Spent her days raisin' babies, ironin' his pants.
Came home one day from the grocery store and found his note,
And without him there to stop her, she let herself go.

Let herself go on her first blind-date:
Had the time of her life with some friends at the lake.
Let herself go, buy a brand new car,
Drove down to the beach he always said was too far.
Sand sure felt good between her toes:

She let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.

To Vegas once: Honolulu, New York City.
Came back knocked-out pretty.


It reminds me that I need to be true to who I am and my wants/desires do NOT have to come second all the time.

I find that alot of songs that remind me of him I learn the words and sing at karaoke. I can't cry in front of people while i'm singing so it helps me get a little stronger. We both used to sing "It's Your Love" at karaoke. Now I have lost my partner and can't sing it anymore. Somedays music is all I have!