Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Was going to journal about it, but thought I would put my question out there. As of May 25th, I am officially divorced and I feel weird asking for advice or whatever regarding this issue, but the ex, myself, and the boys are all still living in the same house until the trial for asset division comes up and see who gets what and how the assets are to be divided. That being said, I was out of town this past Saturday into Sunday afternoon. Evidently, he had a party at the house, with the boys there...a few friends, their wives and kids, and of course I come to find out the OW was there. Now, being that the house is still half in my name and I clearly stated I didn't want her there...it is STILL my house and MY refuge until the shit is divided. Obviously, he thinks I am stupid, as my son said who was there, inadvertantly. I don't know whether to even tell him that I don't want her there when I am not there and that it is my house still but I don't feel like getting riled and getting into an argument. I want to make it known that if he can respect my wishes until this is settled it would be appreciated, but part of me feels that I am beating a dead horse. I just want him to know I know she is there when I am not there and she has a house...go there. Should I at least say something or not or just let it go and pretend I don't know anything? It hurts to know this is my refuge and now I don't even feel like leaving the house just to make his life miserable but I know that gets me nowhere and I can't be a hermit. IDK....he just makes me sick. And to think, I am trying to be amicable as possible with the asset division...next comes child custody and he is going to fight me on that too....I just don't have anything left to give to this anymore and I give up. Thanks for any ideas you all may have.
He has stamped all over decency, not that he won't do it again... but holy F!! The woman and kids have ONE place of safety and sanctity. And he violates that? Grrrrrrr.
*Thinks about coming out of retirement*
I like this idea!!!
What's good for the goose is good for the whatever....
If he's weasel enough to put his kid in the middle... then this would be the last time he'd ever get the chance.
Just my take on this
All we as parents can do is try to reassure our children that this is in no way their fault.
Also, I don't see how the boy was brought in to it just by her being there. This is something that he did and knew it would upset you if you found out.but that is neither here nor there really. It is bothering you and you need to figure out a civil way to address it. Just don't be surprised if anything you try to do, doesn't stop it. Seeing as it isnkt stopping, all you can do is find resolve inside so no matter what he does, you can let it in and then out without much hurt on to you.
*bear hug*
I don't think that the concern for the boys well being is based on whether he was asked not to say something. The concern is that because the boy told his mom he will take it upon hisself to feel bad like it was his fault this started an issue between his mom and dad. Ultimately affecting the kid. Which will happen more so then not.
In that sense her ex did put the boy in the middle, more out of pure ignorance than maliciousness, I suspect. If nothing is said, then her son will continue to find himself in this stressful situation.
That said, I concur with J's statement.
"If the kid can be safe from any personal backlash, then she should nail his ass to the wall".
You've shown immense will and restraint in the face of this Llmt.
Step off the train. Valid, good, wonderful point made. ;o)
You are kidding right?
You know how I feel about people using/abusing kids.