Why is he going out so much? Especially if he didnt before. Thats sorta suspicious. It sounds like he not sure he wants to make it work. It takes two to make it work and you can do your part but doesnt mean other person will as i learned in my breakup. Have you tried talking to him about the back and fourth of the relationship?

He is 2 dif people, really. Ok when sober & a big a-hole when he's drunk. Which has also changed. He didn't used to be that way. One minute he will agree to let time heal wounds & the next it's "I wanna sell the house & act like you don't exist"

I understand where your coming from, and how you feel. My husband of 37 years, The only man i know We have been together since we were 17 October 2015 He was coming home late, leaving in the wee hours of the morning, Had a job that kept him away for weeks at a time. And when home he would be out Saying he was helping family....Then it was he got no respect, unloved, un appreciated We had everything Money .cars Traveled Three grown daughters with degrees We payed for.Never faught Then he turned on me, Accusing me of affairs, asking questions. Turned everything on me. Then he started sleeping in his truck, at a family members wife house Well come to find out He had been sleeping with her After months of trying to figure out what has happened. Crying day n night Making myself sick Anxiety attacks Hospial visits My Daughters at my side Then we found pipes in our garage and meth Im so broken My heart has been ripped from me He continues to tell everynight how he loves me Hes in denial Wont say he has a problem Come to find out He has been on meth for maybe 6 years He is a not the same man i married Not the same Man that was here two years ago. WE are devasted..Time has passed and I still Love him

Im so sorry! I am right there with you. My fiance has remained his claim he hasn't slept with or pursued another woman & doesn't want another relationship. I think I believe him because currently he is too selfish to be "tied down" to anyone. Not even the kids most of the time. He is so different & he looks miserable. It's quite like watching a possession!

Hello all who are part of this post,
I just came with a thought, do you feel like you are caught up in a nightmare and it is hard to get out of?
The fact that your relationship is actually the end of the nightmare, because it cannot come back to the happy days, you now have the opportunity to create your own happy days.
Most of us had children with our exes, some of you still have to deal with the ex, with parenting.
So it's hard to get away from it so trying to make it work until you are totally broken seems to be the reality that most are facing. It doesn't have to be this way because you, yes you deserve to be happy. It's finally your chance of happiness and by you finally being free of a unhealthy relationship you have the opportunity to rediscover yourself and to become once again happy.
I was in a very toxic relationship as soon as I decided to be free of it I began to be happy.
It wasn't without it's challenges... my son and I had to live in several women's shelter we did 10 different shelters... to flew my ex abuse. It was the choice with leaving him or losing custody of my son which was 18 months at the time.
It has been over 11 years since we left him. It was the hardest thing and best thing I ever done.
My ex abuse of me and my son, which he shook my baby and caused him permanent brain damaged. I fought for his custody... not really because he refused to show up to the hearings and only came thinking it was for us to settle into getting back together. He spent 3 months in jail. Then he came out and kept wanting to be back together. I got the Emergency Protection Order which was temporary then given two times for a period of a year. He broke the order several times that the police officers came to my house fearing for our safety. I had to leave all of our things and go to shelters. What I didn't know was that my " best friend" who told me that she was supporting me through this hard time, kept contact with him.
We got married in May and left him before the coming Christmas.
She was my maid of honor 7 months prior for us leaving him. On our wedding night she saw him hitting me in the taxi then she denied it saying she was too drunk to remember when I filed for the Emergency Protection order asking if I could put her name in the order.
I later learned that she ended up being relationship with him, so while I was in shelter she was with him and telling him at which shelter we were. Which he would go to or try to contact me and this brought me to be evicted of a High secure Shelter where I was getting daily counselling and on a waiting list for permanent housing.
Than I clued in on it and decided to cut ties with her and all of my friends that might be in contact with him. I went to another shelter which was 700 kms from him. I started counselling, went back to school and worked full time while having a child in need of several surgeries due to the abuse he had suffered. Looking back at it I cannot believe all we have been through. Unfortunately some women don't leave their abuser and end up dead. This could have been my fate and I chose that I was deserving of being happy.
Fortunately my son has had no more contact with his father since he was 19 months and now that he is 12, he has no desire of knowing about his biological father.
He is now disable for life due of the shaken baby syndrome and several other health issues.
Some days I get very frustrated with my son, I have to keep in mind that he is not his father that he is my son. A precious boy worth fighting for. I spend 3 years being a single mother until I met a wonderful compassionate man whom I have been with for nearly 9 years.
Keep hope and believe that you are worthy of being truly happy!

He has mentioned going himself only 2 times & when he was sober at the moment. I would do whatever it would take to work it out.

Regardless of what you think is going on here, your husband is addicted. The behaviors you describe are common addiction issues. There comes a time when addicts have to cut ties, rally resources and batten down the hatches to maintain their dedication to the addiction.

The first thing to go is self-respect, the second is honestly and the third is bridge burning relationships. They must do these things to ensure their drug of choice is their primary relationship. They guard it more jealously than any man did a beautiful young wife or his newborn child.

It's common to turn it all around and blame the other person, because if they don't that means the thrilling, terrible and sometimes intoxicating ride their on is all their own fault.

It's common for the family members to honestly not see it, or to suspect it deep down inside but refuse to allow themselves to believe it. Once you admit to seeing the elephant in the room, you have to realize the person has made their choice and it wasn't you. There is very little you do to save an addict who does not want anything but to drink or do drugs.

You must stop listening to the words coming out of his mouth. They are distortions, broken promises, lies, and a thinly veiled attempt to get you to back so he can use without being called out as an addict. I know these are some strong words but no man spends days each week out partying and sleeps in his vehicle when he has a sofa or a warm bed. These are common ways people hide their addictions. If he's in the car no one can smell the alcohol or see evidence of his drug use.