Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Is it just me...?

rose3
rose3
As much as I get it logically... I'm still baffled. After a year of raising our baby single-handedly - as a single mom, (even though I was still in a relationship with the father, but recently brokeup), all I'm hearing about lately is about the struggle it was for him! He chose not to cohabitate, came over when he wanted, and basically helped out mostly with things around the house when he was here. He never experienced the sleepless nights or any of the other challenges of raising a baby and being a real parent. It was very convenient for him. He never slept over, not even when I asked for the help. For a year my baby was up most of the night, which was very exhausting for me. Yet somehow in all of this I guess I was suppost to be the perfect partner too! And yet he says it was a struggle for him...! I truely can't believe this!
kidsintowe03
kidsintowe03
awwww....poor him....forgive me for NOT feeling sorry for him. Yeah, it's so hard to willingly leave a family, especially a young child isn't it? It's so hard to shurk off all responsibilities to someone else. don't worry, in a few years when the child wants nothing to do with him because of him not being there, that'll be really hard for him too...blah blah blah what a shmuck!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
So selfish.....Blows your mind!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would not call him father, I think I would call him sperm donor.
MsBlank1
MsBlank1
I can totally relate.Only my stbx did live with us.I use to call myself the single married mom.His business was his whole life,but was unavailable and unreliable.He put in 12 15 hour days.To make it easier on him,I stayed up with the kids at night.I did allll the kiddy things and running them around.I had 2 kids(3if we include him)with special needs.Our oldest had severe needs,Our second child had severe Ld problems and tried to keep things as normal as possible for the 3rd child.I am told during the marriage and now thru the pending divorce that I am making his life difficult!!! What about our lives???Like we are just having the times of our lives????ha Let him stew!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
my heart bleeds for him NOT!let face it when it comes to babies most of the time mom has that responsibility.dont spend the time or energy focusing on his woes,take care of that baby.think of all the wonderful memories you are going to have that the father never will and can never get back
bambam
bambam
I could rant about the 'sperm donor' (thanks for that one TD66), but I won't.

Let's go the other way for a change.

Let's say we thank him - yep, let's thank him for not being an influence on the baby for the past year,(bad habits won't become learnt behaviour). Let's thank him for not being around for yelling matches that would scare the baby (and you could thank him for just not having to have those fights, cause he's simply not around). Let's thank him for showing your child that your child will ALWAYS have one parent who places the child's life ahead of their own. And finally, let's thank him for showing you that you can do this on your own and you can do it for your child's benefit.

I know I am overly sarcastic, but sometimes, you have to take accept the things we cannot change - but we can change how we see things, and sometimes, that is the easiest task possible.

(I guess I feel I can say this so bluntly, because I don't love this person....I just I am assuming that you are questioning the same...)