Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I sit here today thinking once again about my ex. Had a little breakdown last night thinking about him celebrating possibly with a new gal and taking her to the family event for Mother's Day.
Thing is....At this point Im not even sure we could get back together. He says he has changed since our bu and that his heart has hardened and he will never be the man he used to be when we were together. After 10 months apart, I think we both have probably changed. I love him, always will, not sure I will love like that again, but yet I really dont know that we would survive as a couple anymore.
Im trying the stupid online dating thing and NOT being very successful. I get out with friends, but dont meet men while we are out. I think Im just really lonely at this point and thats why i continue to think of all the great memories we had together.
Im also wondering if I hang onto those memories because Im scared of being alone forever and the fact that he totally bruised my ego.
Do you think that is what possibly makes you hold onto your ex so much? Being frightened of what the future may or may not hold? Feeling you are not good enough because 1 person chose to move on while you were not ready?
I'd be curious to know because at this point, as much as I hate sleeping alone I do it every night and am ok. As much as I miss my best friend, I reach out to other friends and rekindled old friendships. As much as I miss the intimacy, I deal with it.
What are your thoughts?
Thing is....At this point Im not even sure we could get back together. He says he has changed since our bu and that his heart has hardened and he will never be the man he used to be when we were together. After 10 months apart, I think we both have probably changed. I love him, always will, not sure I will love like that again, but yet I really dont know that we would survive as a couple anymore.
Im trying the stupid online dating thing and NOT being very successful. I get out with friends, but dont meet men while we are out. I think Im just really lonely at this point and thats why i continue to think of all the great memories we had together.
Im also wondering if I hang onto those memories because Im scared of being alone forever and the fact that he totally bruised my ego.
Do you think that is what possibly makes you hold onto your ex so much? Being frightened of what the future may or may not hold? Feeling you are not good enough because 1 person chose to move on while you were not ready?
I'd be curious to know because at this point, as much as I hate sleeping alone I do it every night and am ok. As much as I miss my best friend, I reach out to other friends and rekindled old friendships. As much as I miss the intimacy, I deal with it.
What are your thoughts?
I don't like to be alone, so I go out where there is alot of people, like starbucks or bars and just sit there.
Your question about the reason why people hold onto the ex, is yes, I believe it's the shock of waking up and fully realizing that the person is no longer in your life. The mind and heart takes time to fully recover, especially if you had been in each other's lives so much, and the routine,etc.
Moving forward, the next step is to grieve and to get rid of emotional baggage... to ensure that it doesn't carry over to the next relationship. Only you can tell when you'll be ready, but if you take your time and not rush it, you'll eventually get there. :)