Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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amandarobe 10/08/2013

My ex emailed me to ask if I would keep him on my health insurance until November. We were officially divorced in May and I told him to get off the insurance then but he didn't. He has continued to pay me for his premium. My work requires that he be taken off my health insurance within 30 days of the divorce, but he wants to just not tell them about the divorce in May and let him stay on until November. Isn't this insurance fraud? Plus, I am pretty positive that he cheated, he sent me an email to ask for the divorce (coward), and he has been extremely hateful toward me for many months. Why should I bend over backwards and commit what I think is fraud for this man who almost killed me emotionally? What do you guys think?

deleted_user 10/08/2013

It's illegal to keep him on your insurance after the divorce, and so it is insurance fraud. You owe him nothing. He should have done something about insurance before your divorce was final so he'd have something lined up then, or even get off of it sooner. No reason for you to get in trouble for him. He'll get a letter from your employer offering him COBRA coverage for a certain amount of time, and he'll have to pay your employer if he wants it. Let him worry about it.

sandysan5743 10/08/2013

Do NOT do this. If you are discovered, you will be in trouble, and trust me, you will be discovered.

stillbitterjaded 10/08/2013

Whether he cheated or not is irrelevant.

Plain speak: follow the company rules or lose your job.

Send him BACK the premiums he paid you.

Advise your company of the date and follow the RULES.

stillbitterjaded 10/08/2013

And it's YOU committing it, not him...when you get caught its on you, not him.

deleted_user 10/08/2013

I so agree with SBJ.

ChiTownBear 10/08/2013

yeh, you need to get him off your insurance immediately regardless.

amandarobe 10/08/2013

Thanks so much for the input, guys. That's exactly what my gut has been telling me to do, but I needed some verification.

ChiTownBear 10/08/2013

You asked why, after all he has done, should you bend over backwards or help him. Since you have been helping him since May, to me, its because you are a good person and want to help others, regardless of what he or anyone has done to you. I know I am very similar. It is just who I am and I am proud of myself to be able to still be that way regardless of what others have done to me. You should continue to be a caring person and the person you want to be. As long as you aren't being a doormat, I don't see anything wrong with it.

sh39 10/09/2013

I would agree with the others here. You need to take care of this with your HR dept. You might try going to your employer's HR dept, tell them the status of your divorce, and ask them to take care of anything that is affected. You'll have other things to change as well. Beneficiaries on life insurance, 401k, emergency contact numbers, etc. Your HR dept should be able to assist with all of this.

Divorce is a public record, so if there was any question in the future, the insurance company could look this up and would know the truth. Like sandy said, it will be found out.

deleted_user 10/09/2013

I know of someone who kept their ex-wife on their insurance policy so she would have coverage, and when he eventually got terminated from his employment 8 months later the insurance company found out and he had to pay for what the premium would have been for her to be on a policy by herself, plus a penalty. Don't let this happen to you. Get him off now.

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