I'm sorry you're going through this. You're obviously drained out right now so take some rest and take care of yourself first. Make sure you stay hydrated.

Remember: it's okay not to feel okay for sometime, but know that it'll pass. It was just a chapter in your life that has ended. A new one's about to begin.

I was like you a few months ago. Just take it day to day. You have to go throught the grieving process to move on.
Its understandable you are very sad right now, and you have the right to be sad.
Keep posting here and let it all out.

Well then at least take heart that your feelings are normal.
Even though he was/is a jerkoff, you love him.
Your love is good he is a turd .
You will hurt for awhile, that is normal.
You'll start to feel better some time down the road that is normal

Hang in there

He cheated.
He is abusive.

Once the shock of "being alone" wears off, and you get more grounded into the sense of who you are meant to be, remember:

No one hears the words "cheating, abusive husband" and waves their hand saying, "Yes, please, sign me up for that!"

You're too good to think life is over because he's gone. Go easy on yourself.

Time changes everything, including perspectives. I had been feeling that way, wanting to die for months. I have a daughter and realized I have to accept this reality and move forward for her. I wish the best for you. Breath deeply, sleep and stay hopeful.

I'm in the same boat. That was one of my first feelings. I still feel that way. I keep saying "I can't believe this is happening to me". I feel like I'm in a bad dream, my worst nightmare is coming true. I know I don't deserve this. I know its not my fault. I know I was a good wife. There isn't anything I could have done different, because I did it all. He is toxic for me and will not change. I know I am doing the right thing and moving on. If he can't tell me he wants to work on it, or he wants ME, then I'm done. I don't want to be with someone out of pity. I will never trust him again. I obviously don't know when he is lying. My husband is a master manipulating liar, cheater, schemer, cocky, arrogant, hypocrite. Its only been a week for me. I filed the other day and he got served today. This is the biggest hurt I have ever experienced. In hell, we will get thru this! we are better than this, we deserve to be happy with someone who will respect us!

I'm in the same place. On 2/2/14 I discovered that my wife was having an affair with a married man. She works with his children and goes to lunches and dinners with his wife. I found out about a second affair in April and yet another just today. We are separated for the last 6 weeks. The roller coaster of emotions is the worst. I had through that I was in a place where I was ok until I found out more today. My chest immeidately tightens up and I want to scream. 15 years of marriage and 4 children. I have tried my best to support her through the years but she is not worthy of my trust.

The pain and the hurt and the missing your spouse will come in waves and go away as you remember your own strength. Keep writing.

the mornings are the worst, because when I wake up, he isn't here.
After awhile, it isn't that bad. and then after awhile, I am glad he isn't here. I have peace, the first peace in over 12 years. We are talking now, and even if he ever got to a place where my heart could open up to his, I still wouldn't want him here. About 2 months ago, I found signs that he broke into my home (now..my home...got it in setttlement). Since then, I put l locks on everything in the house. After that he vandalized my front lawn.How could a once nice man do criminal mistress?

Mine is a little different and odd though and happened since last week. After a roller coaster romance, we decided to tie the knot next December. We're based out of different cities and he went into a shell from last week, stopped responding to phone calls, chats, messages.

It's not that he isn't active online though, guess the shell's just for me. I'm at my wit's end, trying to figure out what went wrong! The guy was never expressive but I can't fight with a stone!

I've never truly fell in love before this and never felt so lost since my mom passed away. Can't one good thing happen to me? Don't know how I'm going to survive this :(

you survive each day because a part of you wants to. Be glad that you didn't marry him. My marriage was so bad at the time he finally left, that it is a wonder one of us didn't kill the other one. From being a wonderful person, he turned into a monster.

3 weeks ago, he vandalized my home and car, bringing his g/f into my home. I changed the locks, and the home is a fortress.

The best you can do is to just be friends, that is what I was told to do by my domestic counselor, I know it sounds wierd, but he told me to lock everything up, because I am so alone, like in January, he came over to shovel my car out.Which was nice.

Be so glad you didn't marry him.

#9 - You said "3 weeks ago, he vandalized my home and car, bringing his g/f into my home. I changed the locks, and the home is a fortress"

And they you added your counselor said "be friends" - Be friends with WHO? - Tell your counselor I said all you are required to do is be civil but we do not stay friends with people who cross boundaries, mistreat us or disrespect us.

POSTER - I am so sorry for your pain and I know it's real - give yourself time but push through your pain - don't let it paralyze you. A man who cheats, lies or fits whatever label you and others used while commenting - isn't worthy of your time, space, etc. Your life is too precious to even think about dying over someone who mistreated you.

#6 - Your story is wild for lack of a better term. I hope you don't stick around and wait for affair number 211.

Good luck folks - please don't forget life is too short and the best gift we can give ourselves is the gift of PEACE - get rid of these toxic folks that are stealing it from you. I know, most say, "is not that simple" - I don't know how many times I've heard that - FOLKS, YES - it really is simple. Before you love anyone or try to have a relationship with anyone - LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF - once you can master this - you'll have no issue getting rid of the toxic waste.

I am going through the same emotions as you. My husband of 16 years left me for one of his many mistresses in March. It hurts terribly, but you have to take it day by day. Some days I just want to cry and other days I tell myself him leaving was a blessing. Realize that you deserve more and hone in on that positivity. It is a long road ahead, but you will get there.

yes, really, my domestic s/w said that he helped me out by shoveling snow, and picking up a car for me, and even taking in the sick cats...

But the price I have to pay isn't worth it. I get to see HIM , and the feelings I have are so painful, I am glad to see him, then I remember what he did.

He actually changed all the lightbulbs in my home, and put in the newer lightbulbs, even changed the nail that hung the pictures up, for the new thing they advertise on tv.

It isn't worth it.

I thought of going into assisted living, I am past 60, but I think I will be giving up part of my freedom, not to mention the expense.

I am quite alone, no one calls....Probably because I was in a cacoon for the last 12 years.