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Im so confused

ta930
ta930
I met this man on a dating app and everything started kind of fast. He was very charming and felt like we had an instant connection we hung out 5 times in the first week of knowing each other. 2nd week and he was wanting to meet my family and become bf/gf. I was so enamored with this man it felt like I finally met someone who was serious. 3rd week he told me he loved me..the second month in he is telling me he wants to marry me, have kids and continued to say these things throughout the relationship, hung up pictures of us as well. He gave me the code to his house where I would stay a few nights a week. He gave me gifts/took me to Disneyland. Mentioned me moving in or with him out of state. He even a few times wanted me to throw out my birth control..weird yes. I fell for him though I was very happy/blind. Then suddenly the last two weeks or so of our relationship he became distant, hot/cold. Then 3 days before thanksgiving I came over and he broke up with me. His reasoning was he didn't want to live in Vegas after he graduates college in may & his offer is going to place him elsewhere and he would feel guilty if I moved for him like he did for his ex and said it was horrible when it didn't work out he was so alone in a new city, & he wants to end it now before things keep getting better. He is crying while doing this. I try to bargain/understand. He said I'm only the second person he's ever loved and only person he cares about and also that he shouldn't have said all that he did bs. Then insists on having dinner a week later only to tell me the same thing after I asked if that was truly why. After he changes his status to single, deletes every picture/post with me like I never existed. forward a couple weeks I see him post a Snapchat of him hiking with a girl..then I see two weeks later he is now in a relationship with this girl who I have never heard of nor seen nor had he had mutual friends with. Deleted and blocked me on instagram and Facebook at that time as well. We were together almost 6mos. Broken up probably 3 weeks before he was dating the new girl. When we first met he told me his ex cheated on him..come to find out that ex was his exwife,never told me he was married. I believe I met him 3-4mos after the divorce. Exwife still has engagement photos up I think they were married 4yrs. Now his new gf already has pictures of them up he already met her family just like he did with me. 

 

Can you help me understand what happened? I do know I missed red flags with how fast he forwarded the relationship. I also found out that he lied about moving! He already started that job here. Who does this!?
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
Hugs my friend. Oh there were red flags flutter in gale force wind from the start. You are lucky that you are out of it. He is pathological liar and there is nothing you can do to change that. You deserve better than that. He will never settle down with one woman.
refurb
refurb
who do this? people that can, do. people that see themselves as the center of the universe. people that have no soul.
zashin
zashin
some people just feed on the emotions of a new romance.
sleepless1
sleepless1
Sounds like he was "love bombing" you. Google it and see if you agree. You dodged a bullet!
growthhurts
growthhurts
No wonder you fell for him! Who wouldn't? I mean, even gave you the code to his house?? That shows trust to me, not a red flag.... I'm so sorry this happened to you. That's so unfair. But it wasn't your fault. He lied to you so try not to spend too much time trying to figure out what happened. Focus on you, and your faith, if you are a believer. That's what gets me through. (((Hugs)))
jojored
jojored
This guy's behavior sounds manic. I guess the big red flag was moving so fast. He probably is now establishing a pattern where he'll be doing this to every other relationship he has. You were the unsuspecting object of his mania. 6 months is a long time, but be thankful you never married (or got pregnant). Watch for this type of guy the next go-around. Be well.
ta930
ta930
What hurts is how he tried to act like he cared and loved me still while breaking up with me. After he was done breaking up with me he asked if I want to go eat! Like why would I want to go eat after you just broke my heart?

Then with the dinner a week later I let it all out with how I feel and was honest and he told me the same lies. He told me he wants me to find something that makes me happy which angered me thinking he thinks he was everything then he says he hated hurting me but meant what he said. He mentioned he wants me in his life still. Then he pulls this and erases me from his life. This is so painful. Idk how or why someone would do this. Then to move so fast with her it’s like deja vu.
jojored
jojored
He's got a big ego, thinking all the girls want him. I suggest you cut him out of your life. All that bs about not wanting to hurt you and still be friends is his way of assuaging his guilt. He's not looking out for your best interests, only his.
ta930
ta930
He definitely has an ego! It’s gross he can behave this way and move on to the next like nothing happened. It was all insincere from him from the beginning. I had a feeling he only said those things to make himself feel better or to potentially leave the door open. I doubt this new woman even knows about me and how recently he was out of a relationship just like I didn’t know he was married. You are probably right that it could now be his pattern moving things so fast, already posting pictures showing off. I’ve never met someone who moves into relationships so fast back to back to back.
Manda606
Manda606
I wish i had the answer to who does this? I have been asking my ex fiancee this for a week....with no valid reply. My only logical response is people with no morals, were not brought up right or have issues deeper than even they know
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
He has a big ego and was using you to feed it. You deserve better, much better. This would have become a toxic relationship down the road if allowed to continue.

Forgive yourself for not seeing the red flags and move on to a real man!

God Bless
ta930
ta930
Is it wrong of me to even doubt his ex wife cheated on him? With all these lies I’m hesitant to believe it especially since that was one of the first things he ever told me but failed to mention he was married to her. His manic behavior as you mentioned doesn’t add up as to someone being cheated on IMO. He never displayed trust issues or hesitancy. In fact he was overly trusting right? Like giving me the key code to his house, giving me passwords to certain accounts. Then how his ex wife still has their engagement photos up. I think that’s strange as well as them following each other on social media again about a week before we broke up.
ta930
ta930
I found out that they broke up already
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