Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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BlindsidedHurt1 10/26/2016

I think my sadness has finally turned to anger and I've mustered enough courage to ask him to leave. It is not fair to me that he comes home every night to his home and family (after telling me that he no longer loves me and he doesn't know what he wants). Meanwhile he is texting and talking to the person he lusts and probably really wants to be with. He makes me believe that we could work things out and things will fall back into place, but I'm awake now. His feelings aren't for me. He hasn't reciprocated my love and affection. I don't know where he'll go. I realize I'm probably just driving him into her arms. But why keep pretending and prolonging the inevitable? I could see months of this going on, and then she and him finally decide to be together and *poof* he's gone. I wouldn't be able to handle that pain. It is going to kill me to see him pack his things. 20 years of togetherness is over.

I am going to a divorce therapy group tomorrow night. Probably be the biggest mess they've seen. But I have to start somewhere.

Lovelylove 10/26/2016

I know little about divorces. All i can tell you is to be strong.

mirandac 10/26/2016

You are far from alone with all you have going on.

Many of us walked around in those shoes for awhile.

In my case it never got better or improved, i just got
Sicker and more hurt by his callous disregard for me
And my feelings and emotions. I still dont know if he
Did anything physical until after he left and i really don't
Want to know. HUGS

kbbcoop77 10/26/2016

I lasted 3 weeks with my ex wife after she dumped me but wanted to stay and save money. I told her to go stay at her mothers. 24 years together it sucked bad but i couldn't live like that, her leaving every Friday and coming home happy as a clam Sunday night. Screw that.

BlindsidedHurt1 10/26/2016

I just can't take the hurt anymore. Physically painful, can't concentrate at work, can't eat. I think my marriage is worth saving, but he's gotta feel the same. Nothing is more painful than loving someone and not getting anything back. 20 years of loving this man and willing to give 50 more years happily.
I still hope it's a midlife crisis and he comes through it, but that just opens up more problems after he's been with another woman.

kbbcoop77 10/26/2016

Believe me I know exactly what you're going through I went through the same stuff as do most of us who get dumped and thrown out like yesterday's trash but believe me it does get better. It's been 2 1/2 years since my ex-wife left and quite honestly I'm enjoying my life now without her in it it's a lot less stressful and I get to do whatever the hell I want ..! You'll get there!

CrushedDad 10/26/2016

I am facing something similar after 18 years. She is always texting someone, new clothes, new perfume and she disappears for hours at a time. I am not leaving my house and she isn't either. She is hell bent on divorcing me because she doesn't love me anymore. Deep down I hope she changes her mind but I know it won't happen. For the most part, I hope she regrets her decision and I hope her guilt ravages her soul. Hang in there - we are all with you.

mirandac 10/26/2016

Crushed, that was one positive with the divorce
Being finalized. There was no longer that false
hope he would see the Error of his ways and
come to his senses. I really thought he would.
HUGS

samantha717 10/26/2016

Let me advise you to get a lawyer as soon as you can. I ran a domestic abuse support group for six years and I often saw cases like this where the husband would give the wife mixed signals and she'd hang on to that hope for months. What often happened was that the husband was merely using that time to make plans and hide money and other assets before slapping her with a divorce. One of the really painful things about divorce is that you have to make a lot of very important decisions and take quick actions when all you feel like doing is crawling into a corner and crying your eyes out. Trust me though, that feeling will pass and then you will be happy you moved quickly. He may be all mushy and conflicted now, but wait until you see the man he becomes once he's served with divorce papers. It will be a whole new ballgame then!

betterorworse 10/27/2016

Yes, the move out was huge. It took my own mother in law telling me to woman up and ask him to leave. So, I did. He had it made, in his world of lies and spin he had me paying everything, working in the home and him pouring his thoughts and dreams into her. I had begged for conversation all of our marriage and she got it. Having his abusive butt out was so far, the best think I have done. It is a living death sentence to be in a house with someone you love and are trying all you can to be a Godly wife and mother........and you think things are better... until, you learn nothing changed but you.

My mother in law says why the rush, why separate? Well, he drags on everything and he will do this, why not he has a free place to stay and I am asking for no money, he has his Fat friend ..... What should I do?

BlindsidedHurt1 10/27/2016

Thank you, Samantha717. I guess that's my next step. He was such a damn arrogant bastard when I told him. I couldn't help but cry and he proceeded to tell me again why we are done. "It's too late. Don't you wish you paid more attention to me? Too late. Those feelings died years ago." He's asleep and his girlfriend just texted him happy they'll get to spend time together. A week ago, I'd begin to sob. Now I'm just pissed. He doesn't think I'll do anything because I still love him. I do, but he wants to be with someone else, I'll start the process.

Mnplygrl4488 10/27/2016

I am so sorry, I know how bad it hurts, the same thing just happened to me with a little different twist. It's like a knife going thru you when they tell you they don't love you. I am new to this site too and so many kind people responded to my post, it made me feel like I wasn't alone. I am struggling myself so I don't have any great advice except keep talking, I feel it helps and think about therapy if you haven't already. I always have time to listen , so please message me if you need to talk. Please hang in there, they say it gets better so let's get there together.

Mom22Feb 10/28/2016

So sorry you are going through this tremendous hurt and betrayal. The first emotion is hurt and then anger, which is where you are. He needs an ultimatum and boundaries (e.g. It is either your girlfriend or me.) You do have to protect yourself in the process so seek wise counsel and while you do have grounds for divorce if he is having an adulteress affair, things could turn around with counseling and true repentance.
There are plenty of people I know and those whom I have heard personal accounts of marriages that were "over" and have had resurrected dead marriages. Love is a decision not a feeling. You have been faithful and committed and you didn't make him find another woman, so don't let his unfaithfulness change who you are.
I hope he sees that you are worth fighting for and that with marriage therapy you can rebuild what has been lost and lacking. You have support either way.

MarCis 10/28/2016

Be the man there, send him away , kick his ass, he does not deserve it. She will do him the same he did to you. Better alone than with him

1111volcano 10/28/2016

I'd tell him if he's wanting to text that other girl , he could do it somewhere else. That is total disrespect . if he ready to leave then give him a timeline. That he has to be out by that day. Tell him you will help him pack.

jojored 10/28/2016

It is hell living with someone who doesn't care about you and totally disrespects you. Over the course of 5+ months, I've learned that you can't make your spouse move out. Mine is NEVER leaving unless a court decrees it. I hope yours leaves willingly.

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