Great restraint!!! I can totally relate, as I know if I ran into the OW I would be so tempted just to knock her lights out, but know that between the legal implications and the self respect I have for myself, it wouldn't be worth it. and thanks for being a fireman and helping to save others!

That must be a very hard thing to deal with, a freind should know better, my wife ran off with a guy I didn't know, and I tried to tell myself that no matter who it was, she is the one that made those decisions, I should lay the blame on her not anyone else, but the man in me would still boil up at that guy when I saw him. To top it off he was a prick, like you say, smug, take this look on his face everytime I had to see him.

It boiled over with me one night, he said something he shouldn't have, I said something back, he pushed me, and I beat him pretty badly in my X's kitchen. I don't even remember a lot about the fight, it felt good for about 5 min, then I felt horrible for letting that prick get to me so bad. You are doing the right thing if you can let it go, it won't do any good to knock his block off, even if you think you would feel better, she will still be with him, and he will get sympathy as a victim from a crazy X...... no win situation for you taking that road.

Someday, you will hear yourself saying to him.. "Hey, she's YOUR problem now, buddy"

You won't have to pound the crap out of him.....LIFE will do it for you.

I admire you for being more of a Man than most!

You've got better things to be doing than worrying about that waste of space, you're a hero man, keep up the good work thanks for all that you do.

Jim
Well done for taking the high road and using such restraint!!
It shows you are more of a man than many. I hope you manage to find some other outlet for that anger and all the feelings you must be feeling as a result of seeing him.
Great to come here and vent too - hope it helps some!!
Remember you are the good guy in all of this and don't allow their behaviour to rob you of that. You keep on holding your head up high and your self respect is intact!!

I am prowd of you!. He aint worth it....i know it is hard, but you just showed him you are so much more of a man than he is by acting with class...DO NOT let him get to you....

Good Job on having restraint and coming here to vent instead!

Good for you!!!! Like many of said already, you are more of a man than most!!! Sending you lots of positive thoughts for the rest of your day!!!
((hugs))

.....Oh I thought of that......the "old me" would have beaten the shit out of the guy the night I found them in a hotel room while our kids were at home .......but new me (2.0) just says, "They're not worth doing the time" Good Luck!

Did I get this story right? Does he work with you and this is the reason why he has impacted your work?

I have so much respect for what you do every day, every minute of the day, which is to take care and maintain well being to your community. I am very sorry to see that your girlfriend and your ex friend did not give you the respect and decency you deserve. Yet, I fully trust that the universe works in interesting ways: I am sure you will find a wonderful lady who will respect you and love you as you deserve.

Right now it is disturbing, but give time to time and little by little it will be less challenging to handle. Look for other interests that excite you, take a vacation if you can, plan for something that will keep your mind away.

We are here to support you in any way we can. Hugs to you.

I admire you for keeping self control. I knew the OW, not a friend but one of his coworkers but I didnt see her after I found out about their affair, I dont know how I would have reacted, I just wanted to punch the living hell out of her and scratch her eyes out. I can't imagine how much it hurts the betrayal from a supposed friend. The legal implications are not worth it plus I considered myself to have class and I didnt want to get down to her level. Stay strong!!!!

I don't know if I could have restrained myself. Great job keeping your cool! If you see him again, instead of confronting him, you should just than him for taking out the trash. I wonder if he would still have a smug look on his face after that? It sounds like they deserve each other.

(((hugs)))