Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ok, some of you know me - some of you don't I will try to make this as brief as possible and may leave out some details.
My husband and I married for 14 yrs - together 15 with a 13 yr old daughter. We hadn't been getting along the best for the last 5 yrs. Everytime I would try to leave, he would verbally threaten me to stay or emotionally talk me into staying by saying he loved me and wanted to work things out. After some heavy duty fighting on a regular basis for about 3 months and after the final night of fighting where he drew back his fist, threatened to hit me and told me to get the F@$& out of HIS house. (by the way, it's our house, my name is on the deed and the mortgage also) - I finally left for fear of my saftey. We have now been separated for 6 monthsl. He has not paid a penny in child support - he peeled out of the driveway when we tried to served him the custody/support papers, it has taken 4 mnths to finally get him served. Now waiting for a court date. In the past 4 months, I have learned that he had been having the affair with a woman for over 1 year now. All the while, she was planning and actually went thru with a marriage to another man. After 4 1/2 months of marriage, she kicked that man out of the house by police escort on Friday Nov 11th and moved my husband in on Mon Nov 13th. This woman has 3 boys by 3 different men, 2 are one night stands and has no clue what the mens names are. She has never been married to any of the fathers (obviously). My husand moved her and her 3 boys into my house after we were separated for only 4 months. She is a very jealous woman and has been known to be very violent. She acts as though she is above everyone and continuosly responds to text messages that I send to my husband regarding "our" daughter and then never tells him. He would have never put up with this type of behavior from me however, he does with her. They fight constantly - my daughter has no clue if this woman is coming or going. One day she is told that Ms. Donna is not in charge (Wednesday of this week) and to ask my step sons girlfriend (who also lives at the house) for permission to do things and then the next day, Ms. Donna is in charge again because daddy and her made up. They ride this roller coaster of continuously fighting. (And I thought it was me - - ha what a joke)
Now, for the last 13 years my daughter and I have attened a small town Carnival on Friday night, some time around July 4th to watch the fireworks display. A majority of the time, my husband would not attend for one reason or another. Today is that day. Plus it is my husbands weekend with my daughter. He is planning on picking her up after work and taking her to his house. However, as always, he will not be attending the firework display. He has told my daughter that Ms. Donna will take her instead.
FINALLY - - HERE IS MY QUESTION.
Legally, can I stop this woman from taking my daughter tonight? My daughter would prefer to go with me - not Ms. Donna. And since they're relationship is so rocky, do I have the legal right to put my foot down?
Please help me. This all happens today and I need to know what I can do.
Thanks
My husband and I married for 14 yrs - together 15 with a 13 yr old daughter. We hadn't been getting along the best for the last 5 yrs. Everytime I would try to leave, he would verbally threaten me to stay or emotionally talk me into staying by saying he loved me and wanted to work things out. After some heavy duty fighting on a regular basis for about 3 months and after the final night of fighting where he drew back his fist, threatened to hit me and told me to get the F@$& out of HIS house. (by the way, it's our house, my name is on the deed and the mortgage also) - I finally left for fear of my saftey. We have now been separated for 6 monthsl. He has not paid a penny in child support - he peeled out of the driveway when we tried to served him the custody/support papers, it has taken 4 mnths to finally get him served. Now waiting for a court date. In the past 4 months, I have learned that he had been having the affair with a woman for over 1 year now. All the while, she was planning and actually went thru with a marriage to another man. After 4 1/2 months of marriage, she kicked that man out of the house by police escort on Friday Nov 11th and moved my husband in on Mon Nov 13th. This woman has 3 boys by 3 different men, 2 are one night stands and has no clue what the mens names are. She has never been married to any of the fathers (obviously). My husand moved her and her 3 boys into my house after we were separated for only 4 months. She is a very jealous woman and has been known to be very violent. She acts as though she is above everyone and continuosly responds to text messages that I send to my husband regarding "our" daughter and then never tells him. He would have never put up with this type of behavior from me however, he does with her. They fight constantly - my daughter has no clue if this woman is coming or going. One day she is told that Ms. Donna is not in charge (Wednesday of this week) and to ask my step sons girlfriend (who also lives at the house) for permission to do things and then the next day, Ms. Donna is in charge again because daddy and her made up. They ride this roller coaster of continuously fighting. (And I thought it was me - - ha what a joke)
Now, for the last 13 years my daughter and I have attened a small town Carnival on Friday night, some time around July 4th to watch the fireworks display. A majority of the time, my husband would not attend for one reason or another. Today is that day. Plus it is my husbands weekend with my daughter. He is planning on picking her up after work and taking her to his house. However, as always, he will not be attending the firework display. He has told my daughter that Ms. Donna will take her instead.
FINALLY - - HERE IS MY QUESTION.
Legally, can I stop this woman from taking my daughter tonight? My daughter would prefer to go with me - not Ms. Donna. And since they're relationship is so rocky, do I have the legal right to put my foot down?
Please help me. This all happens today and I need to know what I can do.
Thanks
good luck.
No separation - no child custody - nothing
to newagain - he always gets to my house before I do.
I do not want to stop my daughter from spending time with her daddy. I just do not believe that she should be alone with Ms. Donna. It's too early for that.
You're her mother and you have a right to make decisions in her best interest, until a judge says you can't.
Check with an attorney.
If this woman isn't a threat , and she's going to be around a long time, she'll ultimately end up being a significant part of your daughter 's life. And maybe she's trying to get to know her? She doesn't have to take her to the show. I mean, the bitter truth is that if your ex and her tie the knot, her kids will be her step-siblings.
She sounds like a piece of work, and I think you should pursue all your options, and I don't think it's unreasonable to ask your ex to at least meet the person that will be caring for your child at times.
And you're daughter is 13, not a grown up by any means, but I'm sure she has her own feelings about it. She can definitely tell you whether she feels threatened, at least from her perspective.
I've seen people go through these situations, so i just wanted to throw out some other possibilities.
Personally though, people who don't pay child support but want full access, and get full access, to their child(ren) make me sick.
downandout = Thank you for your response. My daughter is of age to make the decision as to whether she wants to be around this woman or not. She is fine with it as long as daddy or her brother is around. She does not want to be with this woman alone. Emotionally, this is the woman that ruined her family. She does not want to attempt any type of true bonding.
I intend on fighting with all I have thru the courts - including witnesses as to the fact that this woman has hit her stbx husbands child along with family members who have met her and know how she is when she drinks and so on and so on. I have been very patient gathering information on her, enough to have her band from ever being alone with my daughter. My attorney feels "supervised visits" are in order as long as this woman is in my husbands life. I am not as gut wrenching. I know my husband will never hurt our daughter. Never physically or intentionally. I just do not want Donna to ever be alone with my daughter. So we will see how that turns out in the court system.