Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My Ex and I have been working things out, being friends and getting to know each other for a few months now. I felt happy and comfortable that we could still talk to one another. But lately its gotten deeper than that and I've thought about dating him again and he's asked me numerous times if we could be a couple again.
The problem is I'm scared. This is the guy who emotionally abused me for 8 months and then broke up with me accusing me of being possessive, crazy and suicidal. I became a wreck because of him but I got therapy, went back to school and was doing so well.
Half of me says I should give him another chance because he has also been getting therapy and has proven it numerous times by actually being patient with me and my depression. He's actually dropped everything to be there for me even when it wasnt ideal for him to come see me in the middle of the night. He's still forcefull and always asking if I'll date him though.
I don't know what to say, I mean I still cry and clam up inside when I think about what he put me through. My brain is still telling me to be cautious because I've had many people claim they care in the past then destroy me. I had hoped by now I would have come up with a definate answer for him but I'm still struggling and I don't want to string him along.What can I do??
If you walk down the same sidewalk and fall in the same hole, you got nobody to blame but yourself. The thing is, you already figured out how to get out of the whole, so climb out quickly. There's no need to spend another 8 years of eating crumbs and drinking rain water.
The real question is, how smart a person are you? You're talking about voluntarily going back to your abuser. It's good that he got therapy and that he's acting real nice right now. However, I suspect you would not have fallen in with in the first place if you thought he was going to abuse you. You hooked up with him cause he put his best face on to lure you in. That's all he's doing now. Once he has you, things will probably change, because people tend to revert back to old negative behaviors when they are under stress. Unfortunately for you, babies, jobs and finances are all stresses that normally come up in a person's life. The odds are not in your favor.